Looking 32

So I was on the phone with a friend last night and we were bemoaning the fact that we're growing older.  I'm 32 now, and I'm starting to look like I'm in my 30s, which is really not what I want to look like.  This is odd to me, this whole growing-older-and-looking-it nonsense, because I'm one of those people who just have never really looked any different through the years.  My hair has a lot of natural highlights, so any greys have blended in; I have oily skin, so there are no dry patches, no wrinkles...I've had two children of course, so I'm a different shape than I was previously, but I don't think I ever noticed any major change in my appearance until recently.

It started last year, when I discovered those first few grey hairs, some at each temple.  I pulled them out, but they came back of course, and so I went to talk to the stylist about it.

"So, there are grey hairs just above my ears."
"I don't see any."
"Yeah, they're there.  Should we dye them?"
"No!  It's fine, it's not even noticeable."

Regardless, I saw them.  And since I wear my hair up a lot, I've just kept noticing them more and more.  And now there are more of them to notice, too.  And so the next time I went to see her I mentioned it.

"Still there.  The grey hairs."
"There are a few."
"What do we do?"
"I think they just look like highlights."

I think she's being optimistic.  But okay, okay, it's a few hairs, right?  Then this year I've noticed a change in my face - it's not quite as youthful as it once was, it looks a little older.  I used to be able to pass for a girl in her twenties, now I think I would look 30 no matter what I did.

My friend and I started joking about the wardrobe problems of getting older.  We don't want to dress like we're in our thirties, but we don't want to look like a trendy teenager either!  And we're both a little afraid of becoming 'comfortable' in our clothing choices.  In fact, I'm willing to bet I'm already there.  At some point in the conversation her husband yelled in the background "soon you'll be shopping at Talbots!"  It's true!  You're only a few years away from Talbots, Amy; you're only 8 years away from 40!

I blame the whole thing on Reitmans.  With their easy to wear cotton stuff that gives the illusion of being so fresh, so stylish while still working on a daily basis, but covering up the fact that it makes you look like a mother!  Ugh.  50% of my closet has to have come from Reitmans, or looks like it did.  The knee length skirts, the v-knecked tees, the little button-up-the-front blouses, they suck you in with their 'I'm teal and therefore will make you look nice and pretty this summer!  Also I go with every other item on this rack!'. 

And then you read articles like this one, that declare in such a happy way that in your 30s you are going to start looking like a hag.  Great.  Very uplifting.

Oh, I know how awful this sounds, this complaining business, but it's bothering me recently.  I've never liked my birthday, I've never like the downward aging slope.  I don't relish the idea of getting older and have never really had any desire to do so 'gracefully' in any way - I plan to fight it all the way.  And I'm not sending Reitmans any Christmas cards this year, either, no matter how preppy and cute they make their sweaters this winter.