Division of Topics

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Generally I divide things we consider learning or have the option to learn into four categories, and treat the different categories individually.

1)  Topics we are both (teacher and student) interested in learning about.  

Obviously, if we're both on board with a topic, this is where we shine.  Sometimes one of us is on the edge of being interested, but can be convinced by the other.

2)  Topics the teacher is interested in, and the student is not.

If I want to us to cover something and the child does not, how I handle the situation depends on the topic.  Is this something that I really think the child will enjoy once they get into it or am I going to have to cajole, which I dislike?  Here's an example:  let's say I have purchased a fun puzzle book, and I know that we would enjoy solving the puzzles together, but the child says they are not interested in that at all.  Firstly, sometimes the idea has just not been presented at a good time - maybe they had an argument with a sibling or read a tense part in a book or are frustrated with their craft - and if I offer on a different day, I will get a different answer.  This lasts over the long haul, by the way.  It took me almost a year of offering the Spiderwick Chronicles to my 9yo every single library trip before he ended up picking them up and devouring all six books in about two days, and then watching the movie with us (and explaining all the ways the film was wrong).  Persistence matters. 

Let's say I have tried a few times and this idea is just not catching on.  I find at this point I can encourage simply through doing it myself.  "You don't want to do this puzzle book with me?  Do you mind if I start it on my own, then?"  Often I will start working on something and because my children naturally want to do whatever I'm doing, they gravitate towards me and interact with the activity they thought they didn't want to do.  

If there is a lot of push back, I will occasionally offer compromises to get us over the hump of starting a new thing.  Maybe you can just sit in the room with me while I read aloud, but you can do whatever quiet thing you like, including reading your own book.  Maybe you can help me do a single puzzle in the puzzle book, and then in return I will play Lego with you for 15 minutes.  Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn't.  When starting a new book recently, I set up the playdough in the livingroom for the two girls and the boy had a huge Lego castle kit to work on, and because I allowed those toys during read aloud time, I managed SIX chapters of the novel, which took well over an hour.

3)  Topics the student is interested in, and the teacher is not.

This is the perfect opportunity for independent study, in my opinion. We are not clones of each other, and some people enjoy different activities from other people, and that is why it is okay to go do the things you want to do without expecting others to have to do those things, too.  So after setting my children up with whatever they need to do the thing they want to do, I leave them to it. 

"You would like to weave?  I don't particulary want to weave something right now.

Do you have a loom?  Do you need any help?  Alright, you're all set, enjoy your

weaving and let me know if you need me."

That being said, there are compromises to be made!  I've sat through my share of tea parties and puzzle box Youtube videos and games of hide and seek where I am always 'it'.

4)  Topics that neither teacher or student are interested in.

Ah, and this is where it gets tricky, because these topics exist.  So I approach them wondering if we actually really, truly need to look at them, and if so, at what depth.  Is this a book that we're reading because we were told it is a great story and we both detest it and it isn't getting better?  Or are we talking about, like, ALL OF MATH?  The book, well, we can just not do it, and that's fine.  No one will read all the books, good or otherwise, that they 'should' read over a lifetime.   Math, on the other hand, well...we need to cover that whether we want to or not.

If we've established that we have to do the thing neither of us wants to do, we use two techniques to get through it.  First of all, we try as much as possible to make the very best of the situation.  We outsource in fun ways, we encorporate games into the topic, we make this as appealing as possible.  Music playing!  Lots of treats and things to look forward to if we succeed!  As much applause and admiration for our bravery in facing the thing we do not want to face!  Lots of admitting to each other that we both detest this but let's soldier on through anyway because this is One. Of. Those. Things.

Secondly, we try and pinpoint exactly what we dislike about the idea of learning it.  Is it that the lessons are very complicated?  Then perhaps we can simplify.  Is it that the books we're using are awful and dull?  Let's try different books.  Any and all suggestions are worthwhile.  What if we only did ONE math problem, but did it the best we could?  What if we set the timer for FIVE minutes?  We could do anything for only five minutes!  This book we've been looking through has a test and you don't want to take the test?  What if I just only read the questions out loud to you and you answered orally instead of writing it all down?  Would that make it better?  Then let's do that.

Alternatively, I have actually just ignored a topic with the idea that we would circle back to it at some point in the future with a fresh outlook, and then discovered that the child naturally picked it up by themselves.  This happens to me quite a bit with the two oldest these days.  They didn't want to do the thing, but eventually they decided to do it on their own, and learned it just fine, and I didn't really have to think much about it at all.  This is why I often review topics I think people may know already, and skim through lessons, because my children have a habit of going off and learning something on their own, and when it comes time for me to teach them, they already know the thing.

"Oh mom, I already knew that about Lillian Thrasher!  Did you know that she..."
"Actually, the volume of the cyclinder is found by..."
"I think if we need 1 cup of the flour and only have the Tbsp measure we could just..."
"Hey, this reminds me that..."

Sigh.  I can't teach those kids anything.