Un-normal (or how we're managing)

Short answer?  Everything is fine.  Long answer?

We made a plan to self-isolate that is as close to isolated as we can manage.  My husband has made the decision to cease church services to protect our elderly congregation.  We've cancelled the dentist appointment, told my parents not to visit, moved doctor stuff to telephone consults, postponed piano lessons indefinitely and so forth.  We're not driving into the big city, we're not seeing friends.  We haven't travelled outside the country, or even the province.

On the other hand, we don't live anywhere with grocery delivery, we can't order food and have it brought to us, and Amazon is sold out of practically anything healthy.  So there needs to be a certain amount of dashing into a grocery store so, you know, we can eat, but we're trying to keep it to the bare minimum.  We also own a dog, and not a fenced backyard, so again, we have to walk around at least a few times a day.

It isn't full isolation is what I'm saying, but it's the best we can reasonably accomplish.

We're fine, though, and we're continuing on with homeschooling and trying to entertain ourselves.  There are many who aren't so fortunate.  My anxiety is terrible of course, but that's to be expected.  When I clear my throat, I panic.  When I have to blow my nose, I panic.  Are my shoulders sore?  Muscle aching is a symptom, right?  Ack.  Ack.  And so forth.  I wipe down everything with bleach and grill bathroom-exiting children on their hand washing habits and mentally plan out meals with the food left over.  I'm exhausted at night from too much worry.

I expected this, because that's just who I am, but I'm also disappointed in myself.  I was very calm, despite everyone flapping around me, and then the constant barrage of awful wore me down.  And here we are, with me trying to decide if my throat might twinge if I swallow in a certain way and whether that means I am dying or if I just ate too many salt and vinegar chips.

Welcome to anxiety.  It's a crummy vacation destination.

Now, all that being said, we have created a fun schedule that allows me the calming sensation of order while really not taxing the children at all.  There is a time for playing outside, a time for eating, a time for showering and a time for chores.  An hour for Morning Time, which is plenty of time, and an hour for reading and math together.  There's a time to play board games and a time to watch an educational tv show, and most importantly there is plenty of time scheduled in there when I can hide away and not be talked at.  This is very important.

The dog is going to be deeply appreciative of everything returning to normal because one of my self-soothing mechanisms is meticulously combing her, which she hates.  On the other hand she looks like a fluffy, floofy little brown cloud of anger.  Look at the angry dog.  LOOK!