Picture books

Here are some of the picture books we've been looking at these days.

Seven Quick Takes - February 22

1)  Here's an NPR article about 'champing' (camping overnight in churches), the brainchild of the Churches' Conservation Trust.

There seems to be a little fluttering about this.  And I can understand because...camping in churches?  Is this something we should be encouraging?

On the other hand, and just to offer another side of it, churches throughout the centuries have rarely been JUST places of worship.  They've been all sorts of things.  Schools, hospitals, hiding places, places to crown monarchs, places to learn how to play the piano, places to sleep (we've had people sleep in our church before, when they've needed a warm place to lay their head).  The Churches' Conservation Trust does state in its FAQ section that: "The church building has passed to the care of the Churches Conservation Trust"  So these churches aren't 'working' churches anymore, which I think changes the conversation quite a bit.  The CCT does call the churches "consecrated" but I have a feeling they don't fully understand, or at least differentiate, what that means from "commissioned".  Because no denomination I've ever heard of, once finished with a building, leaves it as a fully commissioned/consecrated holy place and turns it over to a church trust for camping.  I think it's probably safe to assume these churches are decommissioned buildings.  It's actually quite a nice thought to me that these beautiful old places of worship will remain standing and cared for for future generations, and be used in a respectful way.  It's better than turning them into houses.

2)  Here is an article about an Icelandic scholar who came to Lincoln in the 12th century to study at the cathedral.  I'm always surprised at how cosmopolitan the Medieval world was.

3)  Something very true that came across my desk recently.

4)  Look at the cross stitched stockings this woman made for her family!  That's just stunning.

5)  I don't need to make this cake.  But I want to.

6)  I bought two pairs of these leggings because the sales clerk informed me that they were this year's version of the leggings I fell in love with last year.  They are not.  Three washes in and they are already pilling.  I'm disappointed.  Thick, sturdy, winter leggings that are more slim pant than skin tight polyester are not the easiest to find.  Especially if you aren't a size 2.

7)  I just bought a new swimsuit for the summer but now that I've seen this one I want it as well.

There's your weekly glimpse into my mind.

Blogs!

I asked a while ago about favourite missionary blogs, and then I thought about it and decided I would make my own list.  Here are the blogs I check every week, missionary families AND other ones.

Ellisons In Mongolia - A family of three who moved in 2018 to Mongolia as missionaries with Global Partners - the missions branch of The Wesleyan Church.

The Kubackis In Angola - Medical missionaries who have served for many years in a small outpost in rural Angola, taking two weeks out of the month to fly with MAF (Mission Aviation Fellowship) into the bush to bring medical care to unreached isolated tribes.  I believe their sending organization is SIM (Serving In Missions).

The Knitting Needle And The Damage Done - Funny blog with knitting magazine reviews.

Swistle - Goodness I've read Swistle for such a long time now.  She's a personal blogger, so not really any particular topic but I check her every week.

Pleasant View Schoolhouse - I used to love reading her but I think she's stopped blogging now, which is a shame.  She's essentially the Dora Saint of the blogging world - gentle, gracious, classy.

Hearth Ridge Reflections - Just found this one but have been checking regularly for updates.  Charlotte Mason style homeschooling and lots of books, which I love.

Book Review - Book Scavenger (spoilers included)

Book Scavenger - by Jennifer Chambliss Bertman

published 2016

Read aloud to the 9yo

The Good

Emily comes from a family that embraces adventure and travels around the country trying to live in every state once, and although Emily spends the book starting to resent the constant moving, she seems to also enjoy the excitement and new places at least a little, especially the most recent move to San Francisco, home to her hero and the creator of Book Scavenger - an online book hiding/finding game.  She makes a friend, there is some conflict between them at one point that actually blossoms into a short estrangement, but things work out in the end.  She also appears to resolve her rocky relationship with her brother, who has grown away from her as he becomes a teen, and she confronts her parents eventually about her feelings with moving.  I wouldn't say the relationships were all GOOD (there is a lot of name calling between brother and sister, for example) but they are BETTER at the end (like when big brother stands up for his little sister).  Emily loves reading and there is a lot of book and author type information scattered throughout.

The Bad

I had to do a lot of on the fly editing to read this to my children, who are much younger than the intended audience.  There are two 'bad guys' and in the first scene they shoot the creator of the Book Scavenger game (he remains in critical condition in the hospital for the remainder of the story) in order to steal a book he has.  Emily thinks nothing of keeping a book that doesn't belong to her.  There is a lot of sneaking around.  The parents know nothing about any of the Book Scavenger games and seem to be hands off to the extreme.  Emily sneaks all over the place looking for clues and really acting, well, not very kindly actually.  There is a bully at school who sneers at Emily and her friend, and steals from them.  The older brother calls her 'phlegmily', which I found repugnant.  The creator of Book Scavenger gets estranged from his best friend years ago.

My Thoughts

Because we really enjoyed another title in the 8-12 year old middle school reading level I picked up this one because it was well reviewed on Amazon and had books, reading, adventure and mystery in it.  But this book was way too old for my crew.  I had to edit so much out it was awkward to read in parts.  The actual story of a girl who solves a book mystery using clues she finds in a big scavenger hunt is very compelling and probably would be fine for a child who could read about, say, a shooting, and not be bothered.  Everyone is ok in the end, and Mr. Griswold, the Book Scavenger creator, recovers, but this was much to old for us.  I would think in this case twelve is probably a good age for the story.  Almost every relationship was also ridiculously difficult in this book, which probably speaks to a middle schooler and their own challenges navigating that stage of life, but for me was pretty heavy handed.  Emily is in conflict with her parents, her brother, her friend, her teacher, and probably someone else I've forgotten because everyone was upset with everyone else at some point.

If I'm making this sound like an unworthy book to read, that's not my intention.  We got through it and actually we were interested to see how the mystery ended.  I think the main problem was just choosing to read it to younger children.

A good guest

I read an article the other day that talked about opening your home up to guests and attempted to answer such questions as 'how clean is clean enough?' and 'what you should focus on when dealing with hospitality related anxiety'.  Fine, good, certainly useful for many.  A friend made a comment about how she wished there could be an article on how to be a good guest, and I also think this is a much more interesting topic, so I'm going to write that article.

Let's start with a little armchair psychology.

Different People Are Different

I have a mental collection of truisms that have served me well over time, and I'm going to share some of them with you.  The most relevant one here is probably this: Different People Are Different.  From the moment you step into someone else's home you're going to notice differences between you and them.  It's very popular to talk about house envy right now, the "They have nicer throw pillows, but I have a better carpet" type of envy, and the noticing may take this form, but it could just as easily be simply noticing differences.  Thoughts such as:

Gosh, they have a lot of bright pink decor!

Look at all the plants!

This room is really small, I wonder how they manage Christmas?

Or maybe...

If they moved that bookcase over to the other wall, they'd have so much more space.

I wonder why they never finished the crown molding in here.

This chair is super uncomfortable.

Or even...

This room is so messy I feel antsy in here.

This room is so sterile looking I can't get comfortable.

My asthma is bothering me with all the dust.

I think it's important as a guest to realize that these are not judgments you're making.  Often we're told that any time we think anything negative about someone or their house we are being judgmental and therefore we are wrong.  But of course the reality is that Different People Are Different.  Your chaos comfort level is different than mine, and is also influenced by external factors such as general stress, whether you had a cup of coffee before you came over, how I am acting and responding to you, and so forth.  Your priorities are different than mine - maybe it's more important to you to finish the crown molding and more important to me to finish the floor.

Here's another example - I have a friend who is a natural hostess; she delights in having people over, feeding them, chatting, having parties.  I, on the other hand, do not have any natural talent for hospitality.  I rarely invite people over and when I do I give myself plenty of prep time and I organize everything down to the smallest detail.  If you were to attend a party at my house and one at her house, though, it might be difficult to see the difference - we would both be cheerful, pleasant hostesses and provide our guests with a nice time.  The difference is that for her this came easily and she was relaxed, happy and in her element, but I spent weeks preparing and was stressed and looking forward to when it was all over.  A guest might do well to think "I don't know this host's preparations and plans and hopes for this event - I should keep in mind that Different People Are Different."

What does this mean as a guest?  Well, simply that when you acknowledge the fact that Different People Are Different, you can stop the thought "Look at all the plants!" from turning into "She has such a green thumb and I don't but boy I'm jealous of all the plants in here."  Or "This room is really small..." from becoming "This is such a pokey little house; I never want to visit here again.  We should just visit at my house."  Keep it in your mind when you go into someone else's space that their finances, preferences, beliefs, priorities, etc. are ALL different from yours.  A good way to approach being in someone else's house is to ask yourself "Is this a way in which we are different from each other?" and proceed from that.

The Goal Is Important

It's not standard to ask yourself what your goal is for every visit to someone's house, but maybe it should be.  Your goal as a guest is pretty simple - you are there to strengthen your relationship with the host.  You can offer to help prepare the meal, or bring a salad, or set the table, or wash dishes afterwards; you can turn to a person and get to know them better.  All of your actions surrounding the event can be thought of as strengthening the relationship or weakening it.  Even bringing a hostess gift is, fundamentally, just an extension of this.  You're giving a thank you present to a friend for having you over!  And on the other hand you can do things to make the relationship weaker - you can comment on how unsanitary the gerbil cage in the dining room is, you can mention to the hostess "you were out of soap in the bathroom so I found a bar in the linen cupboard" and embarrass her, you can ask if they can turn on the tv so you can watch the weather.  And again, Different People Are Different, so many people might not find those things to be rude but find someone who uses salt and pepper before tasting the food to be acting rudely, or shrieking when the family dog comes over to say hello.  

The important thing to keep in mind is that your actions should be based on thinking about the hostess and how this will make her feel.  If you're always cold, and you know this, then don't go to another house and complain about the temperature.  If you find green beans to be unpleasant, but you are unable to get away from being served green beans, think about the fact that this is not about you, and eat the beans.

Don't add stress

It's possible that there are laid back people who don't mind you adding work to an event, but most people would not be thrilled.  With that in mind, if you are bringing a potluck dish to a party you should bring everything you need for it and not be required to ask the hostess if she has a serving spoon just before supper.  If you're attending a busy New Year's party with lots of people then think twice about showing up with a hostess gift of flowers that require finding a vase and arranging them somewhere.  Make sure that information such as parking, gifts, allergies, directions, time, duration of event, etc. are already established beforehand because you don't want to be calling the hostess just before guests arrive in order to get this info - she is busy.  Arrive within a reasonable time period, but not early, unless you were invited to an event such as a wedding, in which case arrive when the invitation tells you to.  There is room for lateness with casual gatherings and larger groups of people but generally you don't want to keep people waiting - it isn't polite.  The only exception to this is if you are in a culture where chronic tardiness is the norm, in which case your hostess should prepare for this or tell you that an event is starting at a specific time whether you arrive or not.



So, friends, to recap:

1) Remember that Different People Are Different.  They have different preferences, different standards, different everything.  Even people really really similar to you are not you.  So just, you know, acknowledge and accept that.  If the house you're visiting is messy or sterile or loud or whatever, go with the flow.  And if you really, really cannot go with the flow...

2) Think about WHY you are visiting in the first place!  Your priority is to be with someone to strengthen a bond you have.  You don't need to love their livingroom!  It's okay to think their bathroom is dirty!  Your focus is THEM.

3) And finally, on a practical note, just be considerate of your requests in general during your time as a guest.  Don't add work.  Don't add stress.  Don't add negativity to an already not-the-norm situation. 

And that is my guesting advice.  Anything I missed?

Ministry Update - Mid February, 2019

The first in a restarted ministry updates category, hopefully.

Our church is holding a Valentine's supper tonight, on the, um, 16th...I don't know why this is because I wasn't involved in the planning but I'm assuming it's because this was the nearest weekend.  The lady in charge of planning the event decided to charge for tickets and then hire a caterer and I for one am a huge fan of this plan.  Yes, it costs $7 a person now, but oh, to be relieved of potluck duty! 

Truly, is there anything more awful and depressing than potluck duty?  How much food to bring, when to make it, remembering to buy everything, the stress of keeping hot things hot, the carting around of the slow cooker or, alternatively, hoping and praying there is room in the oven for your dish or in the fridge for your salad.  The inevitable loss, or at least worry of loss, regarding serving utensils and the 'nice' tupperware.  And it just never ends, does it?  New Year's Eve party night, bring food; Valentine's Day, bring food; Chili cook-off, bring food; Thanksgiving, bring food; random potluck because we-haven't-made-enough-food...bring food.  Maybe for someone who enjoys making no-bake cheesecake squares with canned cherry pie filling on top, or yet another shredded chicken and frozen peas mixed with pasta and cheese type casserole - but I am not that person.  And you really can't tell what you're going to get at a potluck, which I realize is supposed to be the point but it does rather dampen the spirits when you arrive hungry, as requested, and are faced with three options for baked beans, a bowl of pickles and a stack of fish paste sandwiches.

Anyway, $7 to avoid all of that, to simply show up for a party and be presented with a plate of food that required no effort from me whatsoever, now THAT is a party.  A break.  A rest.  A real festivity!  I will cheerfully pay for extra tickets so that all who cannot afford the fee can attend and sit with me at the table and also sigh the deep sigh of contentment that can only come from having had to do absolutely nothing in order to partake of the joy that is eating with our brothers and sisters in tranquility.

Also my husband has informed me they are serving lasagna.  I'm in.

The snow...I should be expecting this by now

That sort of comment, where people say 'It isn't like this is the first winter ever/Snow is not a surprise/etc.' is the sort of comment I think about when people start to complain about the cold and snow near where I live, in November.  But by February I am making the same comments.  It is cold.  And snowy.  For heaven's sake another pile of snow?!  Another storm!??  We just had a huge storm!  Grouch grouch grouch.

The parsonage has a flight of stairs down from a small front deck and the bottom two stairs are completely covered by snow.  That means that the cleared snow path leading from my stairs to the car is actually about a foot and a half above ground level.  That's the cleared path.  The piles of snow are up to my shoulders on the sides of the paths.  My husband managed to get stuck backing out of the driveway today.  It's just so much.  So much snow. 

Mostly I'm grouchy because we're stuck inside so much of the time.  The children are small, and they get cold, and they are bored outside.  There are no bikes or sprinklers or sand pits in the winter.  There is just snow.  The cat is not outside to play with them (that old cat knows better and is spending the winter with his tail over his nose curled up in a closet thankyouverymuch) and there are no interesting things happening.  For whatever reason my bird feeders do not seem to be garnering much interest this year, and the road in front of the house is often used by fast moving snowmobiles racing towards the lake or away to the trails.  If I go outside with them and shovel or something, they will stay with me, but, sigh, I don't want to.  I don't have a lot of interest in spending an hour fighting back the ice and snow and cold in order to...deal with the same again tomorrow?

We were supposed to head in to the city today, a 45 minute drive on the highway each way.  The highway was clear, but we heard that the city plows were not doing a great job in town, so we cancelled our drive seeing as the snow was still coming down, and fast.  Not that we had important business.  But still, to pick up some fruit, to wander into a few stores.  To get the cat some dry food he will willingly eat instead of the stuff I bought last time, which he detests.  It would be nice to participate, just a little, in society today.

Goodness you know the introvert is housebound when she says something like that.