Christmas and The New Year and Learning Notes

Oh my word there are only, what, three days until Christmas?  Ack!  It hits me every single year like this, no matter how well I've planned and how many decisions I've made.  This year we've simplified about as much as you can and still have three young children in the house and not feel like you're 'ruining the holiday' for them.  We have a tiny tree and a few other decorations out, but not the stained glass or the lovely beeswax nativity.  We didn't put the gifts under the tree, nor did we go overboard with purchasing a lot of stuff, but what we did get was well thought out and is already wrapped.  All I need to do is stuff the stockings and that element of the day will be finished.  We're doing Christmas Day lunch over at the church again this year - I'm cooking a huge turkey and stuffing and peas and mashed potatoes and the congregation is bringing side dishes and desserts.  The food is ready is go, and my part in it is pretty simple, so there's not much to think about there.  This year the church decided on a Christmas concert, which was last Saturday, and I sang and did fairly well, both in the choir and acapella with my son.  And now all that's left in terms of services is Christmas Eve, where I sing again in the choir but I'm confident with the songs.

So you can see that it's all pretty streamlined, but I'm still overwhelmed.

I have been feeling pretty unhappy with how our homeschooling is going, so that's something.  Although when I look back I can see real progress.  The boy started out really not able to reliably name the letters of the alphabet, and now he can remember them all, and probably about 50% of the sounds as well.  He can do basic addition and can tell time and his writing is legible.  His art has gotten really cute and lovely as well.  I know he's not even six years old and I'm trying to be patient, but I'm looking forward to next year when he's in grade one and I can start a curriculum.

And David is finished his last course for the year!  That's an exciting one.  He has three courses left to go, one in January and then two more in March, before he can get ordained, and it's all working out and I am relieved so much about that.

week alone

So the week before last my husband had to head off to New York state to do course work towards ordination, and it was a hard slog for us at home.  A five year old, a three year old, a one year old, and little ole' me.  Needless to say, home schooling took a bit of a back burner for the week.  We did read some of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and a fantastic little book called Maybe Later and we did some art study, which we're all LOVING.  Here's how we do it:  I have a big coffee table book of full colour works of art and a little bit of info about the artist.  We pick one and then the children work with watercolours to reproduce it while we talk about it.  We might discuss what different colours there are, or aspects of the picture or what it depicts.  I bought good quality brushes at the beginning of the school year, and lovely art books and I don't regret it, but I stuck with just your basic set of children's watercolours and that has also worked well.  When we're done this set I might upgrade us to the set with more colour options but I don't think I'm going to worry about getting a better brand.  Sometimes while we work we listen to music - this is when I like to play a piece of classical music that they otherwise wouldn't sit and listen to.  Again, I'm thinking next year I might combine seatwork with an audiobook such as Story of the World.  Lots of options here.

I don't remember if I mentioned that we have backed off of intentional reading practice with the boy.  He's clearly ready for something, but I just would feel so much better if he had a completely firm grasp of the alphabet first.  And surprisingly enough as soon as we stopped working on it suddenly he's progressed wonderfully.  Ah, the relaxed approach.

We also hung up our wall map that we just got and spent a lot of time looking at it.

Anyway, the week was long and the weather was not very good so we were stuck inside a lot.  I had borrowed or bought a whole bunch of movies for the children because I was anticipating needing some help but we discovered that the boy is really sensitive right now.  Practically every movie was too scary or too sad so we ended up just watching the Andy Griffith show.

And when daddy came home there was great excitement.

Gourds

I live in the country, as I'm sure I've mentioned before.  In the middle of nowhere.  And when you move to a place such as the one where I live you sort of show up, look around, and then a part of your brain says "Is that it?"

I have learned through doing this for years now, moving and strange new places, that it is never it.

If you ask people, they will never tell you all the weird, hidden, fantastic places you can go and the incredibly interesting people you will meet and the fairs no one has heard of and such - and I'm assuming this is because to them these things are not cool, they are just the same old things that have always existed and the same old people who have always been there.  There's nothing interesting in them.

And because of this I've learned that you need to have patience when you arrive.  People are going to tell you about the touristy stuff first.  After a while though you're going to start to hear about the interesting things - and that's how I heard about the gourds.  The librarian mentioned them in an offhand way, just off to pick up some gourds.  Oh, where do you get gourds?  I wanted to know.  And she told me about a place down one back road where a farmer grew all sorts of amazing gourds and left them for people to take for a donation.  She came back with all sorts of gourds, all different kinds.

Now, what an interesting thing, eh?  And who would have known that that existed - it's not the sort of thing anyone would tell you when you arrived in a new place.  They don't tell you that there is a wonderful spot to get crabapples or a place you can watch them shear sheep or a lovely beach no one goes to.  I've learned to love moving to a new place because of this; I'm never bored and I always know that when I arrive there will be exciting things.

Fall Nonsense

It's been very cold in the mornings here the past week or so.  I like to keep the thermostat set very low all the time, but first thing in the morning I get up and turn the heat up to luxurious, extravagant heights - soccer team and organic food heights, and then I sit around in my pajamas and feel the air temperature rise up to what I imagine other people's houses feel like.  This only really works if I get up before everyone else does which fortunately hasn't been much of a problem lately because I've been up before five most days.  Was it Simcha Fisher who wrote the 'early morning worries' post?  The one about lying in bed thinking "Oh Lord, there's so much rhubarb".  Hahaha.  Yes.  Oh, Lord, there is indeed flowing from your merciful hands a wealth of rhubarb.  Please reign in the rhubarb slightly.  Sincerely, your humble servant.

Anyway, I apparently also wrote a post about this, looking back, although I can't find it.

We're in the thick of fall insanity over here - especially in regards to David going to school.  He's off to New York State soon to do some courses towards ordination and then back and then two more via a distance program and then a bit of a break and then two more through the same program, another through a different program, and then rounding of the school year with the final two in Michigan State.  New York State is first, though - I have to get through that without dying.  I deeply, deeply dislike the times I solo parent.

We're about halfway through running the Alpha program at the church, and I have stepped away from Bible study because the children are attending Awana on the same night, so we're pretty busy.  Once Alpha is done, the first rush of courses should also be done, and it will be Christmas.  Mustn't let the stress overtake the season of Advent, I tell myself, heaping yet more pressure on my head.  Mustn't flail about.

Homeschooling Update

So homeschool, I have figured out, is like everything else in life; it never looks like what you think it will before you start.  I don't know what exactly I imagined it would be like to homeschool but knowing myself I think I probably had perfection as my goal.  Wonderfully behaved children and the perfect curriculum and so forth.  Obviously that isn't reality and our school looks nothing like that (although I'm still searching for the perfect curriculum).  And I think I'm okay with this.  Sometimes I get all worked up about it and what we aren't doing and the things we aren't learning and the field trips we aren't taking, but you can't do it all and you can't join it all and eventually choices are made.

We're learning phonics, albeit at the slowest pace known to man.  We aren't intentionally doing math because we're living math all the time.  We're reading a lot and playing a lot and going to playgroup and also Awana.  We're doing puzzles and games and art.  It's pretty relaxed but I think it's just enough for us right now and I'm trying to keep track of what we accomplish every day and when I look back I'm actually pleased.

Mini-break

We took a little impromptu rest break this week - just getting away overnight to a relative's quiet place, where the children caught fish out of the pond and helped pick the last of the beans from the garden and ran around without shoes on and slept in bunk beds.  When we got into ministry I thought that we'd probably need frequent breaks but in the back of my head I was more likely humming and thinking 'yeah yeah, we likely will not because we are fantastic'.  Except we did, and it came as a huge shock to me that every few  months David was overwhelmed with exhaustion and we had to go away somewhere and rest.  And then it came as an equally big shock to me that I also got exhausted and needed to get away.  And finally the lead up to this trip has shown me that the time lapsing between breaks has gone on too long, in fact a friend in ministry told me she and her husband go away every month, and perhaps we need to start looking at more frequent breaks as well.

Of course, these are our people, and it is surprisingly hard to leave them.  When God gives you a congregational family he really...well, he puts them on your heart.  Your mind is filled with 'how is so and so's dog doing I wonder, did she get him to that vet appointment?  Did that guy ever fix his truck?  Is she okay?'

Our last 'vacation' consisted of driving for a whole day, attending denominational meetings, driving a lot more, doing course work, driving, driving, and then running around after the children at camp and coming home.  That was almost three months ago.  So, obviously, not enough for us at this point.  Anyway, the overnight break was a pick me up, and hopefully it will last us a little bit until we can do it again.  We live so far away from everything really that the only way to truly 'get away' is to drive for hours and hours and hours with three little kids in the car.  Not really a possibility on a frequent basis.  We're going to have to look at renting a cabin or something.

Life Margins

Quite a few years ago I heard about the idea of incorporating 'margins' into your life and the idea stuck with me so well that I think I do that automatically now, build in a space around the edges of my days that is.  In fact, when I don't do it, such as the past two weeks, I can feel it, feel the edges pushing in.  I get uncomfortable.

Wait, maybe you haven't heard about margins.  Okay, let me back up and explain for a minute then; everyone should know about this.  Margins on a piece of paper are those spaces around the edges that you aren't supposed to write on, and the author of the 'life with margins' concept argued that your days, your life in general, should have built in spaces of time; you shouldn't have things planned for every last moment you have available.  I don't remember exactly what the reasons were that the inventor gave but personally I can say that having a margin of time around and throughout my day allows me to have 'emergency room' in case I'm needed somewhere.  It lets me breathe deeply as an introvert, knowing I don't have to be 'on' all the time.  It gives me a break.  It lets me enjoy life rather than hurriedly moving from one task or location to another.  It saves me.

What margins in my life look like are blank spaces that don't contain anything.  No plans, no meals, nothing required of me.  And I achieve this by simply not filling up on activities and things to do.  I don't like to rush and feel hurried and scattered.  I often feel rushed and hurried and scattered, but the plan is not to.

Anyway, the past few weeks have been so incredibly full of stuff that I can't remember all of the things I need to do.  I need margins.