Various Things that Have Annoyed Me In July So Far.

You know, when I was a kid playing in the sprinkler, the kid pool or the hose was a mainstay of summer outside entertainment.  And I've tried to replicate that with my children but I'm finding it an uphill battle.

First attempt - I bought a slip and slide type plastic thing that attached to a small inflatable pool at the bottom.  A slip and slide, if you aren't familiar with the term, is a water slide that is, essentially, a tarp.  It's a flat, smooth runner of plastic and you put water and possibly soap to add to the slipperiness, and then you run along and slide on it.  Works best on a hill.  I bought a child sized one of these and since we had a small hill beside the house this was perfect for the children to play on and then fly into a little pool of water at the bottom.  Then the house next door at the bottom of the hill sold and now we can't use the hill, and therefore the slip and slide.

Second attempt - I started using a hard plastic kiddie pool.  The children fought constantly about it because, unsurprisingly, they couldn't all sit in it at the same time.

Third attempt - So devoid of the slip and slide with pool option and the hard plastic pool, I bought a sprinkler.  It was a fun one that spurted water in all directions and, I hoped, would possibly also double as watering the grass.  It lasted just over a week before the town instituted a water restriction that means I can only use a sprinkler between the hours of 5 AM and 10 AM on odd numbered days.  This effectively squashed the sprinkler option.

Fourth attempt - I bought an inflatable pool that I could set up on the deck and would fit the children at the current larger sizes they are.  It took an hour to inflate the first of two parts of it, including stopping for breaks to let the air compressor cool off.  And then I accidentally poked two holes in it which necessitated applying puncture patches and waiting 30 minutes for them to cure.  Then I re-inflated the already inflated part I had punctured, and inflated the second part, and it all took a ridiculous time by which point it was past 10 AM so I couldn't actually use the hose anymore to fill the pool.

I just remember standing outside playing with the hose, or running through a sprinkler, so I can't understand why this is so complicated.

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So this past week the children went to day camp, by themselves, for the First Time Ever.  And they had a great time but I have had a week of repetitive stress as all the little things about camp worried me.  And now today is the last day, which is so good because now I can relax a bit knowing they aren't going to get lost in the woods or drown at the beach or discover that they really ARE allergic to bees or any of the other extreme scenarios my mind made up for me to helpfully fuss about for five days.  On the other hand, David and I thought 'the kids should write thank you cards for their counselors'.  And herein lies yet another worry.  Both of the 7yo's counselors have creative names that are spelled with unusually placed letters, and I'm not 100% certain I am spelling them correctly.  And also I told the children they had to compose and print the cards themselves, and their spelling is ATROCIOUS.  What if no one can even READ them?  And also the 7yo expressed displeasure at my Thank You card selection.  I'd just bought a pack at the Christian book store that said 'Thank You' on the front and was brightly coloured but she didn't like the look/Bible verse/something something I don't know, and now I'm stressed about ALL of those things.

What all of this means is I have three horribly printed and spelled cards with mis-spelled names on them in patterns no one likes.  Looks like a real win.

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The other day David turned to me and said 'where are all of the little coloured plastic bowls?' and I had no idea.  Had I thrown them away?  I thought it was possible because I remember thinking I should throw them away since they were several years old and looked it and also I'd like to get a better quality bowl.  But had I actually thrown them away?  I was very stressed about this because I couldn't remember at ALL.  And this was several bowls I'd lost, not just misplacing the sugar bowl in the freezer or putting my keys in a potted plant or something.  And then my mother in law called and asked me if I might have left a bunch of coloured plastic bowls at her house.  So THAT'S where they were!  And let me tell you why this is infuriating.  Before I leave her house I always ALWAYS go all over the house making absolutely certain I haven't left anything behind.  And yet, so often I have left things behind.  A sock disappears, or a stack of plastic bowls, or a box of tea I brought with me and didn't bring home, or a pen, or something.  And it isn't that I begrudge the gods of misplaced things their due, or that I expect perfection from myself or something, but I can't understand how I can look so closely over and over again and not see these things!

The Long, Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

My husband has just returned from a (hopefully relaxing or at least vaguely encouraging) trip to Cleveland, Ohio with several of his close friends, to attend the Basics Conference.  He deserved a break from everything else going on in life, and it is truly his last hurrah before starting on the two full time courses he is working on this summer, so I didn't begrudge him the trip.  But...ugh...if you've been the parent at home alone with the children for days on end you know of what I speak.  Ugh.

He left after church, and that first night I said to myself I said 'Amy, let's try and be fun okay?  Don't be all crazy like and sobby.  No one likes that.  Stop being a bum.'  And I inquired with false cheerfulness what everyone would like to do and it turns out that was play with my make-up.  And put it on me as well.  We all looked like slightly worse-for-wear college kids after a party.  Then we had hamburgers, which were part of my plan to buy all the easy food possible and feed it to the children.  I let them play video games and listen to tapes of Adventures in Odyssey and watch Paddington Bear and fill up the bathtub way too high for baths, and then I put them to bed and thought about how much more relaxing my life would be if I drank.  Just kidding.  Sort of.

I had stocked up on face masks the last time we were in town so I was well prepared to occupy myself with this:

I love these sorts of beauty products.  Are you kidding me?  Rub gold stuff all over my face AND look 'fresher'.  Can't beat that advertising for $3.19.

And I roasted a chicken, because I am on a crazy restrictive diet for very boring reasons I won't get into and one of the things I CAN easily and safely eat is chicken.  And I didn't need to be getting all hangry and sobbing into a cup of cashew milk.  So my evening was:  rub gold on my face, eat some chicken, and call a friend who knew the woes of the minister's wife and was happy to avoid watching Game of Thrones with her husband and chat with me instead.  I had emergency anxiety back-up, too - a laptop that played dvds and the complete series of Bless Me Father.  Just in case it was lonely all by myself.

The whole three days was essentially that, on repeat.

But then he came back and we had one long, glorious day just us as a family before we have been thrust into the chaos of a 7yo birthday, the start of two university courses, a complete renovation of the church office, and all the other odds and ends of life.

I need to stock up on more weird face masks.

Toilet Gratitude. Worst Title Ever.

At the risk of sounding like the sort of person you would literally cross the room to avoid at a party, here is something weird that happened to me this week.  And it involves a toilet.

This was a hard week for me.  There was a lot going on and I was worried a lot and I got a lot done but at the expense of sleep and sanity.  A few times I found myself thinking that there was just all too much stuff happening, I couldn't do even one more thing.  I couldn't think what to make for supper; how could anyone possibly expect supper from me in this crazy season?  What sort of insanity was this, that required the feeding of people multiple times per day?  What was God thinking when He invented such a time intensive nutrient delivery plan?

The phone would ring and I would think "Ack!  I can't get that!  I can't help that person!  I can't even find the phone!  I'm drowning!  I'm drowning!"  The smallest things were deeply, deeply infuriating to me, as they often are when I'm overwhelmed and stressed to the limit of my endurance.  The ice on the step outside wouldn't budge, and it haunted me.  I found myself doing other things thinking about that ice.  And yet, the getting of the shovel and the going over to angrily chip away at it seemed just completely beyond my capabilities.  Yes, much better to sit here and think about it.

This brings me to Wednesday.  On Wednesday I woke up early and went with another volunteer to paint the church bathroom.  At the same time I had all the children set up at separate tables doing their schoolwork.  And I was trying to stir the paint and it wouldn't stir.  And I was trying to get the cd player to work and it wouldn't work.  And I was trying to get the six year to Just. Write. The. Sentence. Down. in her spelling book.  And my husband was off at a doctor's appointment and then he was back to work at the kitchen table and then I was bringing the children back home and washing out paint brushes and trying to find lunch for everyone and then my husband had a video chat meeting which meant I had to take the children to the library for two hours and there was a lot of shushing.  And I left the expensive pork roast out after lunch and it was on the counter for a few hours before I remembered and I had to throw it out and I felt terrible and it was cold outside and that felt like a personal affront and I went to my 2:30 meeting forgetting the coffee shop we were meeting at was closed and and and...

When I finally caught up with my Wednesday meeting and we found ourselves another (open) coffee shop and settled in, I was hoping to feel that sense of vacation that sometimes happens when you sit down with a friend.  I had a worrisome doctor's appointment the next day, I had many miles to go before I slept, and frankly I wanted this break.  I wanted to feel that loosening of all the little knots in my brain that had tightened up over the past few days.  And to some extent I did, but I couldn't shake the anxiety and the weight of it all.  The too-muchness of a long, long week only halfway over.  

Some people thrive on this stuff.  I am not one of those people.  I like to do things and keep busy but I'm a creature of the shady, quiet places of the world, and not the hustle.  This is not my country; these are not my people.

At one point I excused myself to visit the ladies' room and I noticed in passing how new looking the toilet was for such a down country type establishment as the one we were frequenting.  And suddenly those little knots let go, and I felt that restful relief I had been seeking for several days.  What a nice toilet that was.  I'm so fortunate to be here, in this restroom.  It's so peaceful and the light is streaming in the window up there.  It's quiet - quiet for the first time in days.  And no one needs me right this moment and no one expects me to leave this room for at least another few minutes.  And frankly if you're going to have a moment of peaceful thankfulness I suppose there's weirder places to have it than in a clean, relatively nice smelling washroom.  Maybe.  

There's no blissful, fairy-tale ending to this story just like there isn't one in the real world.  I went back out and talked to my friend.  I finished my coffee and went to the grocery store and then home.  I went inside and handled making supper and cleaning up the detritus of the day and then shepherding all the children through showers and a game of Monopoly Deal and bedtime stories and medicine and, and, and.  The peace of the diner restroom did not stay with me; it was not a little quiet spot I could peer into when I was anxious in the evening and find rest there.  That's sometimes how those little glimpses work; that's sometimes how thankfulness helps form our everydays, but it isn't always, and it wasn't this time.

But that's not really the point, and it's one of the things so often missed by the proponents of 'counting your blessings'.  The blessing was that it happened at all, not that it stayed with me and gave me all the wonderful feelings.  The wonderful feelings are transient and unpredictable but the reality of that quiet restroom was real, a brief respite from it all, and it changed me whether I get to keep the emotional lift or not.

A drive, campfire videos, ministry updates, favourite missionary blogs

It was incredibly cold here today, but we had a family birthday to attend about an hour and a half away so off we went, frigid temperatures notwithstanding.

Actually, it was beautiful.  The cracks in the ice along the river had puffs of steam rising from them as the bitter air touched the (relatively) warmer water.  And then the puffs froze into crystals and hung like solid fog several feet above the water.  The sun actually had two rainbows, one on each side, which I assumed was from the light hitting ice in the air.  It was all so lovely, and very, very cold.

Anyway, we drove in the daylight this time when usually we start this particular trip while it is still dark out.  We just couldn't get ourselves together this morning (having to chip the ice away from the door so that we could lock it didn't help) and started on the road at the ripe old time of 8:30 in the morning.  But nature gave us something to be happy about anyway.

Speaking of beautiful nature I have a non-book recommendation for whomever has a small child, or for that matter a tired adult, to put to bed.  Y.outube has videos of campfires in different locations and they last for hours and hours and some of them are actually very well done in my opinion.  Some are not recorded quite as well, or the background noises are overwhelming and harsh, but I've been trying them out as a way to get the girls to sleep easier at night.  My favourite is probably by Virtual Fireplace and is called Lakeside Campfire With Relaxing Nature Night Sounds.

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For anyone who might have read this blog many years ago when my husband and I were being considered by various churches and moving through different seasons in ministry, you might remember that I used to post what I called Ministry Updates.  I don't recall them really involving much other than me rambling at a captive audience about the triumphs and trials of a family going through the process of being hired on as church staff, but I enjoyed writing them.  Then, of course, my husband got hired as a senior pastor (if you come here only for the book talk, you might not know this), and those 'ministry updates' faded away.  Partly, if I'm honest, because now to update on ministry felt less private and more public.  But in some ways I sort of miss them!  I should find a way to incorporate them in here again.

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Here's a question for those who, like me, read the blogs of missionaries around the world: what are your favourite blogs that involve families with young children?  Most of the missionary blogs I follow are written by families with much older children or no children at home, and I'd like to expand my repertoire.  I don't have a geographical preference, I just enjoy missions.

Gourds

I live in the country, as I'm sure I've mentioned before.  In the middle of nowhere.  And when you move to a place such as the one where I live you sort of show up, look around, and then a part of your brain says "Is that it?"

I have learned through doing this for years now, moving and strange new places, that it is never it.

If you ask people, they will never tell you all the weird, hidden, fantastic places you can go and the incredibly interesting people you will meet and the fairs no one has heard of and such - and I'm assuming this is because to them these things are not cool, they are just the same old things that have always existed and the same old people who have always been there.  There's nothing interesting in them.

And because of this I've learned that you need to have patience when you arrive.  People are going to tell you about the touristy stuff first.  After a while though you're going to start to hear about the interesting things - and that's how I heard about the gourds.  The librarian mentioned them in an offhand way, just off to pick up some gourds.  Oh, where do you get gourds?  I wanted to know.  And she told me about a place down one back road where a farmer grew all sorts of amazing gourds and left them for people to take for a donation.  She came back with all sorts of gourds, all different kinds.

Now, what an interesting thing, eh?  And who would have known that that existed - it's not the sort of thing anyone would tell you when you arrived in a new place.  They don't tell you that there is a wonderful spot to get crabapples or a place you can watch them shear sheep or a lovely beach no one goes to.  I've learned to love moving to a new place because of this; I'm never bored and I always know that when I arrive there will be exciting things.

Coming home

Gah!  Time flew away from me again and I lost the momentum on my couple-times-a-week posting schedule.  Back on the horse.

My mother has been staying with us for the past several days because David went out of town for school.  You'll remember from the endless ministry updates that I used to do (and don't anymore because there's almost nothing to update once you actually ARE a minister) that David is working on finishing all the courses he needs for ordination.  This past week he went to complete two of them that were being offered about 12 hours away and he arrives home today, which is terribly exciting news for me because even with mom here parenting solo is hard work.

Crochet and soap

There is something so fantastically retro about the look of all those little crochet stitches appearing on my afghan.  I love the word afghan.  I love this whole blanket, really, but I'm angsty over the introduction of a stripe of bright yellow in an otherwise muted palette - I wonder if we're progressing from 'scrap blanket' to 'garish striped blanket' rather faster than I had anticipated.  Also, if you have enough of a scrap of yarn to do multiple stripes, then as everyone knows you can't 'pool' all of that colour at one end, so you STILL have little balls of scrap yarn hanging about your life as you wait to progress to a decent distance away from the first stripe, and this means the acquisition of more yarn which initially makes you seem to be moving backwards in your progress.  The only way out is through, and whatever you do, don't stop!

I'm off in a few minutes to a friend's house; she's going to teach me how to overcome my fear of lye and make soap.  I will not be blinded and burned, I'm assuring myself, since she has done this many times and makes all of her own soaps.  Deep breath.

Draining The Will To Live

The weather, I feel, has been terrible for weeks.

"It's awful." I whined to my husband this morning, while the toddler instituted her daily dose of military intensity cuddling and feeding of dry cereal.

But honestly, the grey, the damp, the not being able to dry clothes on a clothesline or fuss in the garden or take the children outside.  It's draining my will to live.

So here we are, stuck inside.  Except that today is a day where we are not stuck inside because we have to go out.  The cat has developed an expensive-looking ailment and David has taken him to the vet, and then will come home to pick us up and drive the long distance to the city so that I can wait for hours to see the bebe doctor who will weight me, poke my stomach and send me on my way.  And then as consolation we will eat at some horrendous boxy restaurant-type place and grit our teeth and go to Walmart.  If I've timed it correctly, and there's no reason to assume I haven't, we will get to the spot where we need to purchase items just as Clara breaks down into an exhausted tantrum and Samuel, overwhelmed with life, will flail about the checkout line and knock over a display of gum.

"Listen to the beautiful music!"  I'll bellow at the children in the back seat while blasting Gregorian chant.  "Can't you hear God!"  Of course they can't.  They can't hear a blessed thing over the noise of their own annoying voices howling in rage in the backseat.  They will fall asleep 6 minutes before we get home.

The backseat.  Oh my.  I ignored the endless contractions and crawled around there installing car seats the other day.  I was very very hopeful that somehow the three seats we already own could be arranged in such a way as to fit in the back of a small car.  The idea of buying another seat is too much for me right now.  And the Lord was gracious and they fit and my children look like sardines.  David thinks that we should now remove the infant seat until we need it and I firmly disagree because I'm not installing it again when I am even fatter.

Thursday Stuff

We are so blessed today to have someone to watch both of the children while David and I head into the city for the ultrasound to find out if the baby is a lady or a gentleman and all of the other measurements.  She's a wonderful girl and adores the children, who know this and probably take advantage of it.  They're excited to have company, and I'm trying to figure out what to make for lunch so they can all eat without having to defrost things.

In the meantime I'm on cup of tea #2 in order to face the day.  And when I say cup, I mean vat, since David kindly purchased some huge mugs for me a few years ago, and I use them daily.

I have been fighting with the cats (and losing) on whether I'm allowed to keep even one houseplant in this life.  They eat everything.  And the children aren't helping the situation - but I think I've solved the problem.  Cacti.  No one will want to touch them, no one will want to eat them, and I can forget to water them.  Perfect.

In Between Day

Yesterday's trip to the OB was exactly what I had hoped for - quick, efficient and productive.  I even had all of the blood work that modern medicine seems to require done, and done quickly.  The ultrasound is booked for tomorrow (!!) and so one of today's big to-do list items is going to be finding care for the children whilst David and I make a trip into the city again.  I'm hopeful that we can get some grocery shopping done as well, buy a zipper to repair David's winter coat, some embroidery floss and possibly a storage solution for our bedroom.  The last will only happen if we have neither child with us, because then the back seat, usually filled with coats and boots and carseats and angst, will be empty.

And I came home to a functioning shower!  And a non-leaky sink!  It was a glorious day, let me tell you, and getting to have a shower in my own house for the first time since August was wonderful.

We had honey garlic marinated steak for supper, and I made a double meal and froze half, which is how I'm freezer cooking this week.  Tonight will either be green chili pork tacos or chicken enchiladas.  I think...I think I want the enchiladas.  And since I'm the one making supper - hallelujah I can decide.

And so this morning has become, through no fault of its own, an incredibly busy day.  I get to do all of the work from yesterday's cleaning schedule (Tuesdays are mopping), and today's (Wednesdays are vacuuming upholstery/dusting) and Thursday as well since I won't be home (Thursdays are scrubbing the kitchen table and highchair and windows).  But the very first thing that needed to be done was to give Samuel a haircut - which he wasn't happy about at all.

And David, before he left to lead prayer group, called the phone people to tell them that our line is still not receiving calls, and they've booked an appt. to arrive on Friday.  

Supposed to be Monday

This pregnancy is going by so much faster than either of my others; I'm over halfway (22 weeks and change now) even if you factor in that there's no chance of my giving birth at 40 weeks.  I like to think that, because it involves less pain and frustration on the other side of it all when you're huge and hot and uncomfortable and want someone to put you out of your misery and all you can do is sob to people "but I'm full term...".  No, much better to think about these things now, while I still have some shreds of sanity about me.

And this morning is the joy of my OB appointment, which I have been thinking of in terms much less pleasant than I am prepared to share, but which just now, this very moment, I have decided to be grateful for and happy about.

While I'm gone one of our handy parishioners is going to come over here and fix our shower, which I am unreservedly thrilled over.  We've been living in the parsonage since August and haven't had a working shower, only a bath.  I like baths, but having a bath seems to be Such An Ordeal in a way that showers aren't.  I need to find time for a bath, I need to prepare a beverage, a book, a schedule...is there hot water in the tank?  A shower is easy, and easy is what I like.

I am also going to actively be Very Optimistic about this shower thing because I have a feeling that it isn't a quick fix but is going to require removing part of the wall and fixing the plumbing.  And I shall write a note for the gentleman to also take a look at the leaking sink.

Yesterday, when I intended to post this, was not a great day.  I had high hopes of getting all sorts of freezerish food prepared and such, but went over my grocery budget (not surprising, I hadn't researched it well and was shopping with everyone) and that frustrated me.  The children, who had been promised rides on the mechanical pony if they behaved in the store, did not get their rides, and cried loudly.  The embroidery floss I needed to continue this cross stitch was gone from the store.  I was exhausted and barely managed chicken and rice for supper, which neither child wanted or ate anyway.  And our attempted family tv show ended in everyone going to bed.

Today is going to be wonderful!

The long days

It's, um, February.

Hello.

I know how trite and over played this phrase is, but boy life is just crazy.  At least it was crazy, up until quite recently.  And now it's still somewhat crazy but in a totally different way, and all of this is to say that the written journal I've been keeping in the 30 seconds of alone time I get just isn't quite cutting it - and here I am.

A few weeks ago I sat myself down and had a little chat about all of the many, many decisions piling up around me that needed to be handled in some way.  That's the problem with choices - eventually they have to be made.  I spent an entire 12 hour day just...deciding stuff.  The trick was, I realized, to just chose something, because ultimately you could very well make the wrong choice regardless of how much research and care you put into it.  And so I looked at my list and started in - and I got a fair amount done.  But already I can feel the decisions piling up around me again and I'm not certain I have the emotional capacity to do another day.

One of the things we decided on was our car seat arrangement.  I've mentioned before how much I find car seats to be right up there with baby poo charts and circling things in flyers on the list of Most Boring Mom Topics Ever, but it had to be done.  Our choices were somewhat limited.  We could:

1)  Sell our car (a mid sized 5 seat thing) and purchase a mini van.  Besides the fact that the thought of driving a mini van makes me want to cry a bit, we also couldn't afford it.  Even if we sold our car.

2)  Only put two car seats in the back of the car and never go anywhere as a family.

3)  Buy three new car seats that were specially made to fit in the back of a car.

We chose option 3.  There was no choice, really.  And those seats are very, very expensive.  But that's what had to be done, and so I did it.

I also just dealt with the fact that we were NOT going to get a doctor in town, and instead had the family 'enrolled' (Is that it?  That's not the word I'm looking for) at the nurse practitioner's office.  And I went to my first appointment in this pregnancy, at *cough cough* 19 weeks.  Yes, yes, I can see you rolling those eyes and you can keep those opinions to yourself.  The boy and I heard the new baby's heartbeat and it was all quite something.  And now I've got myself an OB, who I will see next week, and I'm sure that the next 20 weeks will be filled with, oh, all sorts of frivolity and excitement.  Hurrah.

You can get the gist of the list by those sorts of things - all important, all necessary, all dull and stressful.

I can feel another 12 hour day coming on.

Yada

My in-laws are visiting us for the next little while, so I might be a little absent from the blog.  Not that that's anything all that different from the usual deal around here - I'm not the best blogger, let's face it.

We spent the day in the city attending the kickoff for Operation Christmas Child (our church is the collection centre for our area) and I was reminded yet again why I should never attempt to take my children anywhere ever.  They ate food like crazy; an embarrassing amount of food.  They cried loudly during touching moments.  They played the drums on the church drum set and had to go to the bathroom and sobbed in the car because even though they had just said they didn't want to go into the grocery store with me they wanted to and I left without them.  

It was all very tiring.  And they're going to wake up soon and require water and changes of pajamas and comforting and so I had better go to sleep.

Today...

In no particular order...

Best friends...

Nature all around us...

Beulah Camp

I have so much to share in this space!  Ugh, I'm annoying myself these days with my endless thoughts of  "oooo...must remember to blog about that" and then forgetting as quickly as it comes.  I sit in front of the screen, after the littles are in bed (but never asleep, do they ever sleep??) and my mind just draws a blank.  I cannot think of one solitary thing I intended to say.

Well, let's start with something, anyway, shall we?  Yesterday the children and I packed up our bits and pieces, drove an hour and arrived at Beulah campground where we spent the day.

 

It was oh so hot, but the Exalt choir was lovely, and we saw friends and enjoyed ourselves.  I'm not sure if I've really written much about our summer and how we're trying to be intentional about getting the children outside as much as possible - but, well, we are.  Rain or shine, heat or not.  A lot of days this translates into something like this afternoon, where I turned on the sprinkler in the backyard, but more and more I'm venturing outside of the yard and into the world. 

The more I experience the early years of childhood, the more I'm convinced that exercise and fresh air are not luxuries in the life of a little being, they really are necessities.  On the days when, for whatever reason, we can't get out, behavior plummets, appetites are wonky, fights ensue and really the whole day goes to heck in a handbasket.

WIWS - The Extended Edition

Although this article is no doubt choc full of interesting ideas, I found it a little bit twee.  Is that the word for which I'm searching?  I suppose I think that if humanity as a whole hasn't, after several thousand years of civilization, managed to stop thinking about themselves and think only on higher subjects then we're not all likely to read an online treatise on the subject, look at our lives of apathy and regret and shout "My!  I've had it all wrong!".  Or maybe there are those who will, what do I know.  I've had very little sleep and quite a lot of stress over the past few days.

There was Church this morning, and it was an endeavour to get there.  After much prehistoric-type squinting at the sky I decided that it was Not Going To Rain.  This decision is almost always made by me even if the sky is black and ominous and gross and actual Rain Is Falling because I detest the plastic cover nonsense on the stroller.  It was designed entirely to annoy and infuriate your children who will, in turn, annoy and infuriate you.  Very un-Biblical.  Certainly not a Lord's Day sort of item.

Alright, then, here's what I wore:


Top:  One of the few items I own that was purchased by ME, for ME, at a store which was not of the thrift variety.  Skirt:  It's actually almost floor length, but I pulled it up to shorten it.  And I, yes, bought it at a thrift store.

The observant among you will notice that a head-like part of my body is conspicuously absent from said photo.  This is on purpose - my hair was awfully wet.  However, if you prefer to see pictures of me where I have a head, you may gaze in admiration at the one below, which was taken yesterday at the end of my very first race ever. 

I ran/ran walked/walked/limped/pretended to be running for 5km.

I am happy and exhausted and red like a tomato.

If you'd like something significantly more fashionable to read, check out the ladies at FLAP for the What I Wore Sunday Link-up.

Wednesday

You know, I really wish that I could have had two children before I'd had only one, except that that would have been impossible.  But if I had managed it, I would have saved myself a lot of worry over my first child.  All the thoughts I had of S being crazy since he wouldn't stop hitting the cat after I had specifically told him to stop hitting the cat...well, those worries would be gone.

Because C is now acting in precisely the same way that S did, and now I can recognize it to be normal one-year old behaviour and not the result of my below-average parenting abilities.

Terribly awkward park moment today when S accidentally kicked another child in the jaw when they were climbing up the slide ladder too close together.  The other mom and I just tried not to look at each other, both yelling encouragement at our offspring.  I just know we were having the same thought "Sheesh, SAY something to your kid, won't you?"

They were fine, by the way.  And were soon happily building a giant pile of sand at the bottom of the slide.

Lentils for supper.  I saute them with onion, basil and chicken stock.  And then I add tomato paste and some tumeric.  If you're smart, you'll top the whole mess with sour cream or yogurt, but the children will eat it either way.

S: (after having eaten 3/4 of his plate) "Mama, I no LIKE this."
C just shrieked her disapproval at seeing any area of blank high chair tray.  All areas must be covered by food at all times.  She's like the cats - they don't agree that sometimes it's okay if the bottom of the bowl is showing a bit, either.

I am so behind on every chore in this house it's almost funny.  Except for the dishes, they're done.  But several plants need repotting, the laundry needs to be caught up, the bathroom (ohmyheavens) needs to be cleaned, everything.  Just, everything.

I recently lost some friends to a move, and it's hard for me.  They didn't move terribly far away, and I will probably see them once or twice a month for at least the next few months, but they were wonderful people to have around, and I'm feeling the loss.  One of their daughters, especially, really connected with me - she is exactly as I was at her age:  precocious, bossy, brilliant, a leader and terribly emotional.  I can't help laughing at her; she's just so...me!  But who I really miss is my friend - we knew each other for much too short a time, and their family will be heading off to Bolivia as long-term missionaries soon.  Two parents and six (!) children.  They'll be living in the remote mountain areas of the country amongst very untouched people.  It's so exciting for them, but I'm a little sad.

The Hot Water Bottle Was Eaten.

David let me sleep in for an extra hour.  I suffer from nightmares, so sleeping in is somewhat of a hit or miss activity for me, but it's always nice to know that he loves me enough to be the dreaded First Parent Out of Bed.  The one who deals with any 'overnight poos', the inevitable pee-soakedness of everything in or around Samuel's bed, and the strange things you find in the morning.

Exhibit A:  What happened to this hot water bottle????  Was it eaten?  Torn?  Intensive toddler questioning has revealed nothing beyond "I picked up the pieces".

I was so optimistic about that hot water bottle, too.  I figured it could be the answer to Samuel's cold feet issue.  But it seems as though, yet again, reality has managed to rear her ugly head.  What was I thinking giving a rubber container with weird flappy bits on top, filled with hot water to a three year old and sending him to his bed?  Ugh. 

David has the entire weekend off (woohoo!) and we're spending half of today doing mundane stuff no one is interested in, a la buying eggs on sale, making some bread, cleaning, bathing the toddler in preparation for Easter services tomorrow and then threatening him with no-toys-for-a-week-also-no-chocolate if he goes outside and rolls in a puddle...

And then the other half of the day is going to be spent (theoretically, it's always good to note) at the local high school watching Joesph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.  I greatly enjoy amateur theatre because when it's good, it's just as good as the 'real thing' to my untrained eyes, and when it's bad it provides me with hours of mocking entertainment.

Oh!  I've updated the tab on my home page named Healthy, Happy, Holy.  You might have noticed the occasional post here and there with that title - and the tab explains the name and keeps a running list of stuff for me.  Essentially, I'm trying to focus more on what God wants our family to work towards; one of these things is simplifying, and I've been working on giving away 100 items towards that goal.  The 'given aways' are continually being updated so check it out if you're inspired to simplify your own abodes.

What I Wore Sunday

We need to subtitle this post 'the cop-out edition'.  I had an inspiration outfit all ready to go, and still, somehow, I managed to revert this Sunday to Ole Faithful.

Sweater:  Same as always.
Skirt:  Under $5 at a second hand store.
Tights:  Wally World.
Scarf:  A pashmina store in Ottawa.
Picture:  A farewell gift from an old workplace.
Cat:  My sister's pet's indiscretion resulting in kittens.
Paint colour:  A bucket in the basement.
General look of distain:  Just me.

In other news...

Only a little over half of the cloth diapers I own.

A lot of time and energy later, and I finally have stripped ALL of the cloth diapers in the house.  Hallelujah.  They've been washed, rinsed, soaked in bleach, rinsed, washed in Dawn detergent, rinsed again, washed in plain water, rinsed again, hung up to sun and air out, taken down, run through the dryer and are now getting individually ironed.  If this doesn't stop the rashed, nothing will.  And it's made me come to grips with my diapering obsession.  I'm cutting the diapers in half - about twenty diapers and three covers are going to my sister in the post next week.

A group of our friends went on a sleigh ride last Saturday, through the beautiful woods not too far from where we live.  These horses, which were huge (I mean, h.u.g.e.  I'm 5'4" and I probably came to their back) are Belgians.  After the family ride we had a picnic lunch in the skate shack next to a rink where the children played hockey before we all headed home.  A perfect late winter family outing.

Do you fall into the same category of reading mamas that I do?  The ones who read all of the children's books before they pass them along to the kids to read themselves?  I have been collecting books for Clara and Samuel since before David and I ever had children, and each one is carefully vetted before it hits the shelves (at least in theory - and I'm not this good with media picks, that's for sure) including the above Ramona series.  I re-read them all this week to see if I thought they'd be good additions to the other Cleary books we own.

Also on the reading list this past week was Green Up Your Clean (I'm going to talk about this one more later) and Julie Powell's (who wrote Julie and Julia, that memoir of spending a year cooking through Mastering the Art of French Cooking) newest book, Cleaving.  I hated it.  It was awful.  In fact, I couldn't finish it.  Her mouth is foul, her writing was awful, she was coarse and the story was completely pointless.  I really liked Julie and Julia, which is why I picked it up.

Have a great Sunday, all. 

I'm linking up to What I Wore Sunday.

Tuesdays

It's been a hugely busy day today, lots of diaper stripping and hanging (I didn't take pictures, more's the pity) and a long walk to the other end of town to do some window shopping for decorations for a certain boy's third birthday party, which will be happening oh so shortly.  This is also David's last day off work before a ten day stretch, so I'm trying to fit in as much family time as possible.

Additionally, I've decided that in the next few weeks I'm going to refrain from using the computer at home at all.  Instead, each of the posts that you'll read here in the next little while will be typed from the library computer.  The reason?  I can feel myself relying too much on the internet for entertainment during the day, and I want to focus entirely on my children and my home right now, so refusing to even turn on the computer means that I am present in a more tangible way with the things that are most important to me.

I am keeping up the blog, and checking Facebook, but only by making a trip once a day (if I can manage it) to the library.  So if I'm able to do so without children, you may see pictures, and if I'm not, like today, well then you get just text.