I'm so overwhelmed by life that I think if I don't just decide to post blog entries they are not going to happen. I don't want to stop writing this blog, I don't. I need to get past the feeling that I have nothing to say and am anxious and stressed. I will not explain all the ways in which I am failing as a mother and a person and a Christian.
This week marks the, what, the second week of homeschooling S. He's in preschool level stuff, but I'm already noticing that he's so far ahead in terms of numbers and drawing lines etc. and not doing letters well at all. I would like to improve our school time together and do crafts and such, but honestly that is just not going to happen right now so we're doing workbooks.
All I do, every day, is try to keep my head above water. That's all I do. I wake up and I listen to the crazy happening around me and I breathe and I work on feeding people and making sure my children are wearing clothes. I'm always one thing away from losing it.
And I've decided to cut out sugar from my diet.
I think mostly the issue is that I can't catch my breath - we have guests and then they leave and then there's a baptism and that's done and suddenly there's an event and okay now we have a potluck and then guests again and someone's birthday...I know what I'm describing is life, but it's just harder right now.
Some of the time I'm frustrated by things that just Need Doing; a dedicated person and just some time without ANY children would solve these issues - like getting my bangs cut, mending the hole in my sheet, cleaning the oven, buying furniture polish...I can't, of course, because I always have a child with me. Even one child is too much.
Even while the children are with you, and even when they are not, you are not alone! God has His eyes on you, Beautiful One. There are many things in life for which we find the need to be brave, parenting, finding time to take care of ourselves, just staying sane are all areas that can be included in this realm. This summer as I was feeling overwhelmed and afraid and inadequate, this song was given to me. "The waves and wind still know His name" stuck with me. Maybe there's a line in this song that will bless you too. It's called, IT IS WELL from the album YOU MAKE ME BRAVE. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNqo4Un2uZI
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