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| Yeah, like it looks like this even when things are going well. Right. |
Everything Is Going To Be Fine.
When I had my third child, I was trying to 'do kindergarten' with my then-four-year-old. In hindsight this makes me laugh, but at the time I was very earnest and serious about it all and would have been terribly offended if anyone had suggested that 20 minutes of formal kindergarten a day was unnecessary when one was as ill as I was. The techniques I used there to muddle through were very different from what I did several years later when my father in law had a massive stroke and lay in a hospital 10 hours away from us for a month before he died. During that time we went through our savings traveling back and forth to him three times, and the reduced finances combined with the stress and uncertainty of the time and just the sheer amount of time in the car made my standard methods of homeschooling impossible.
These two occasions come to mind easily because of their enormity, but actually there are plenty of times I haven't been able to teach how I want. The days I've spent cleaning in preparation for a visit, the illnesses that sweep through a house every fall, the emergencies that crop up, even the days I slept so poorly the night before I could barely see straight and yet...there's school to do, and I am in charge, so if it will get done, it will only get done through me.
- Of course, if you enjoy an unschoolish sort of learning style, you won't necessarily have a schedule to interrupt.
- Of course, if you are not going through a rough patch but entering a whole new season of life (becoming a foster parent, giving birth to a special-needs child, battling a chronic illness, beginning an entirely new lifestyle, etc.) techniques won't be a long-term solution; you will need to reevaluate your entire plan.
- Of course, not everyone is going to make use of everything, and I teach a 9yo, a 7yo and a 5yo in a mix of Classical and Charlotte Mason styles so if you teach a 16yo with unit studies, then my suggestions might be of limited use to you.
Are those all the caveats? I think so. So here you go - 14 things I've found helpful in homeschooling when you just can't even manage.
1) Take a walk. Call it a nature walk or a learning walk or an adventure walk or a ramble or a hike or whatever you please, but put shoes on people and walk around. If there's a destination, that's great, and if there isn't, that's also great. If you can't go for a walk, go outside to the garden. If you can't go into the garden, sit on the front steps, or on the balcony, or at the park. Or drive to the park for that matter, and wander around. The children will probably mention things as you walk, but if they don't, you can if you like. Talk about how that cloud over there looks like an elephant, or how you just saw a pack of ants go by with a dead caterpillar, but if nature is not so much your (or your child's) jam, then talk about the motorcycles on the road or the stop sign or whatever you like.
2) Play the Five Senses Game. This one is good as a conversation starter as well. If you're walking, find a good spot to get off the road/path and tell everyone to close their eyes and explain what they can see/hear/taste/smell and feel.
3) Ask 'I wonder' questions. Instead of feeling the pressure to spew forth information, ask the children what they think is happening around them. "I wonder why the flowers over there are so brightly coloured?" might get such responses as "So the bees can see them." "Because that lady painted those flowers." "So no one steps on them." and my personal favourite "I dunno." You can respond how you please. Often my children will run with this and start arguing their individual points, and I just respond with encouraging noises and nodding. Don't feel obligated to have all the answers.
4) Examine one square foot. Especially good if what you have is a very tiny outdoor space for looking at nature - everyone lays down on their stomach on the grass and peers at the tiny hidden world in front of them. How many plants can you count? Are there any creatures in your square foot? Any teeny flowers? If you have a magnifying glass, this is a good place for it, but the naked eye will see plenty. This is also doable with house plants, by the way.
5) Explore with errands. Certainly don't try and do this with every place on your list of errands, but at least one time, explore around when you're at a mandatory stop. Go down every aisle in the grocery store, slowly pushing the cart, even the aisles you need nothing at all in. We have plenty of medical appointments, and there is one building in the nearby city where I have taken the children up to the top floor on the elevator, and then slowly descended the staircase, floor by floor, looking all around. I can tell you there are two water fountains, and some planters, and one big window up at the top where you get a great view over the rooftops.
6) Go to the library and just sit. This is such a foreign concept to parents, but really, bring your child to the children's section, wave your hand around and say "Look. Look at all the books." And then find a chair and sit. They may come sit with you, or go colour a picture, or pull a bunch of books off the shelf and talk too loudly (the last two appear to be the main library behavior concerns, in my experience) but really, the majority of children are not likely to be destructive. Loud, yes. Destructive, no.
7) Read in full view. Do this at the library, if you're there. Say "I am going to get a book and read. You may get a book too, and join me, and we'll read together!" And then sit down with a book, in the library, and read it. In full view of your kids. Or you can do it at home. You can pile a bunch of pillows behind you on the sofa and announce "I'm going to lie here quietly and read for twenty minutes if you would like to read with me. But I am not doing anything else until the twenty minutes is done." And then, read. It will get easier.
8) Share your interests. I enjoy cross stitching and my 9yo son saw me with my craft and decided to try it as well. So I shared it with him and taught him the basics and he happily cross stitched things along with me. If you are overwhelmed and stressed and worried and pressed for time, don't try and learn a new thing to teach it - teach what you already know and love! Much like reading, you modeling your interest in an activity is significantly more compelling to your children than any persuasive argument you put forth. They want to do what YOU are doing.
9) Share your chores. I say this with some trepidation because this one can backfire in some situations. I personally don't like cooking with my children (although I occasionally do, just so they have some kitchen experience and don't grow up to be awful spouses), but that is because when I'm in the kitchen I am focused and trying to get through the work as efficiently as possible. But when I have been in seasons of needing to focus on my house and not on formal schooling, I have found having a child tagging right along beside me through the day to be invaluable.
10) Watch Judiciously! The party line is to separate a day into 'educational stuff' and 'television', but that kind of black and white thinking is unhelpful and wrong. There's plenty of interesting, educational media out there. Youtube videos and tv shows and documentaries and so forth. Our public broadcasting stations have documentaries and shows on all sorts of topics that appeal to the children - whale watching and exploring great museums around the world and the science of light and on and on...watch tv when there is something worth watching and don't feel bad about it.
11) Outsourcing education. By this I mean using whatever resources you can to help you teach. Audio books aren't exactly the same as you reading a book aloud, but they are helpful and portable and sometimes you can't BE there to read aloud. A math computer game isn't a math curriculum, and it isn't the same as you teaching math, but it is a great fill-in. Think of these options like the supply teachers of the overwhelmed homeschooling world. My 9yo son plays a math game for 30 minutes a day but on a day when, for example, I am really sick or knee-deep in paperwork, he might play for an hour, or an hour and half. Who cares?
12) Get into strewing. This is an unschooling practice of leaving out books and learning materials where kids can find them and explore on their own. After years of trying this technique I have finally hit upon making a simple book display on a windowsill in my livingroom. Every once in a while, when interest runs low on the previous display, I pull a bunch of books on whatever topic takes my fancy out of our substantial shelves, and I set up a little display. I never mention it - the children find it in due time - and despite these books being ones we've had for ages they are always pounced upon as new treasures. Sometimes I will also pull out a card game or puzzle we haven't seen in a while and just put it on a table. Inevitably someone will start it or ask to play a round.
13) Bring me the (insert latest interest). The 7yo likes making clay charms, the 9yo is obsessed with Lego, whatever they are doing, sit down and join in. "Tell me about what you're making." is all you need to say and you will be inundated with more information about the latest craze than you ever thought possible. You may be on your third day after surgery and stuck on the sofa but "Bring me your Lego and you can tell me about what you're making these days" will, I absolutely guarantee you, have the affect of starting a conversation that will never end. On hour eight of a car trip, saying "So I remember you started talking to me about that book/video game/whatever. What did you say your favourite part was again?" will fill your hours.
14) Embrace independent work. A workbook that someone will enjoy and do, even if it isn't exactly what you want to teach, is better than no work at all and you upset because 'everyone did nothing'. My children are practically incapable of doing independent work it seems, but I can still send them off to set the stove timer for 30 minutes of silent reading, and know that even if it ends up being a magazine or a Garfield comic - they did read for thirty minutes.
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