Self-Care for the Careless

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It isn't that I don't WANT to practice self-care, because I DO, but the things that fall into most people's self-care categories are often way out of my reach, to be honest.  Having a long, relaxing bath?  How...would that happen?  By the time everyone is asleep and I can sit in a bath alone it is so late I don't want to do that, I just want to go to bed.  Buying myself a treat?  Does this mean I have to get in a car with the whole family and drive the 45 minutes it takes to get to a store I would want to buy something from?  Sob.  When would I, supposing I wanted to, meditate and practice yoga?  And where?  In the non-existent yoga studio here in town?  With my copious amounts of free time as a mother of three young children?

I imagine other people have similar issues, and so here are some of the things I HAVE found I am able to do, as 'self-care', sort of, that help with mental health.

Go outside.  I mean at all, really.  Just out of the house.  Leaning out of the window counts if it must but ideally we're talking on the porch or balcony, preferably even on the grass, in bare feet.  If you feel courageous you can turn this into a walk but let's not get crazy here.  Just go out of the door at all.

Find a thing to look forward to.  Suggestions from my own experience are things like listening to a podcast, making a smoothie, hiding a chocolate bar in the freezer, taping a show, reading a comic strip, checking a blog, etc.  Something that you can look forward to doing in the future that will help you get through the present.

Reframe a task you enjoy as a hobby.  It's all about the mental gymnastics here.  I have a garden, for example.  I have a lot of work to do in it to keep it looking decent, including mowing the lawns, and these are chores that I don't mind doing, in fact I enjoy them, so I've told myself that gardening is a hobby of mine.  Now when I go outside to weed and water plants I am 'having fun with my hobby'.  It actually has really helped give me some breathing space.

Stay in touch with people you like.  Pretty self-explanatory, this.  However you might go about it, a phone call, a text, facebook, whatever - make an effort over the day to check in and say hello to people who fill you up.

Carry food and water.  If you can do this, it helps a lot.  Eat the food.  Drink the water.  Put more in your purse.  If you buy fun food that is just for you and a beautiful water bottle that makes you feel like an Instagram pilates instructor, then you won't forget to bring either.  Just a hint.

Reward yourself constantly.  I have mentioned before that I am a big fan of Gretchin Rubin's theory of 'little treats' - of constantly treating yourself with little pick me ups throughout your day.  Not TREAT treats - but little treats.  Reframing, again, so that little things are treats and you are always being encouraged.  A treat can be anything - standing in front of the open freezer with your eyes closed on a hot day, washing your face with the nice face wash slowly and carefully, eating a peach, using a fancy glass, that sort of thing.

Use your senses.  Nothing gets me more agitated than my feet being hot, and nothing cools me down faster and calms me down better than sticking my feet in a cool bath/pool/puddle/bowl of water.  For me, that's the sense that relaxes me, but maybe you're a 'smell lavender and I calm down' sort of person, or maybe you prefer a head massage, or one of those cooling eye masks?  Perhaps the best way for you to relax is to look at your favourite art or listen to the perfect song or slowly sip a drink?  Whatever sense works for you, do that.

Have an end-of-day ritual.  I have two little books beside my bed and they comprise my end-of-day ritual.  First is my reading notebook, where I record whatever book I finished reading that day, if I did that.  Second is my one-line journal, where I put down two or three jot notes of the highlights of my day.  I try to keep the journal positive because I like to look back in future years to see the joyful things in each day, not the negative.

Keep devotions short, but keep them.  Does this sound familiar?  You have elaborate, exciting plans for Bible reading, devotions, Lenten studies, etc. etc. and they all fall to the wayside?  And then it is a source of stress and anxiety and disappointment because you had such well-laid plans...  Here's the only thing that has worked for me in this: don't make the plans.  Pick one small thing, so small that you can certainly do it, and just only focus on that.  I use the devotional My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers and each day's reading is one small, pocket sized page.  I know I can read it in a minute, so I do, and it makes everything better.  This is not to say I DO read it every day or anything, but I am MUCH MORE LIKELY to do so than I would be if it was in any way more complicated than 1 paragraph in a small book 1 time a day.  (I have friends who have their phones read an audio version of the Bible out loud to them as they wake up and friends who have timers on their phones to ding when they should pray.  My husband listens to sermons while he works on paperwork and while he walks to the post office.  Whatever sort of thing makes it easier, is what I'm saying.)