I'm Not Fighting With My Gastroenterologist.

 I can't decide if I'm more miffed by my recent gastroenterology appointment, or by any number of other things - so let's just start with the doctor stuff.

I left a recent appointment with a pamphlet that essentially says I can't digest food properly anymore because 'people today eat too much processed food'.  And that makes me mad.  

1) Almost no one is able to eat a low-processed food diet in urban Canada.  For one thing, it would require access to fresh or naturally fermented/dried produce year round, which might be available but hardly within the budgetary constrictions of everyday workers.  I can get dried apricots at the grocery store, but they're processed with sulphites.  I can buy tomatoes in January, but they came from California in a polluting truck and were probably sprayed with stuff and coated with things and genetically modified to withstand the trip.  I can buy pickles, but they're not natural pickles - they're in a jar, with salt and sugar and citric acid to keep them crispy and lots of other stuff.  And were prolly made in Sri Lanka or something anyway.

2) Which brings me to the fact that unless you are consuming organic, heritage, non-gmo, local foods in close to their natural state...guess what?  You're eating processed foods.  You think bananas are supposed to look like that?  You think cows naturally evolved to give dozens of gallons of milk a day?  You think corn, what, comes out of the husk in cans or something?  Don't be absurd.

3) And just exactly what is TOO MUCH processed food even supposed to mean, anyway?  I can't eat homemade bread because the flour was, after all, genetically modified wheat that has been sifted, likely bleached, probably sterilized, bagged, and shipped to me?  I shouldn't have strawberries in the winter?  Or is this about sugar and salt?  Is this about the nefarious 'chemicals' of...whatever chemicals we're all worried about at the moment?

4) And FURTHERMORE, I would like to point out that I DON'T eat too much processed food ANYWAY, thankyouverymuch.  I'm not sitting on the sofa scarfing down a bag of cheezits for supper, ma'am.  I have oatmeal or eggs for breakfast, everyday.  I have a piece of fruit, some rice or vegetables, and some kind of protein for lunch - leftovers from supper, or maybe another egg, or a can of fish.  I have meat and vegetables for supper.  I drink tea, coffee, water and watered down cranberry juice.  That's it.  Every once in a while I have dessert.  Every once in a while I have a piece of toast or something.  Sometimes I have a handful of seeds or nuts if they're in the house.  I have a weakness for a cup of Ovaltine and some wine gums if they're hanging around.  Once a month I eat a few slices of pizza with my kids.

5) Hrumph.

Image credit: Marc Noorman via Unsplash

Tea

This past week my doctor informed me that I should stop drinking caffeine. 

And then we both laughed and laughed...no, we didn't.  He was serious.

He said this, I feel obliged to point out, while a large take-out cup of some hot beverage was On. His. Desk.

There is almost no chance of this happening but it is minorly possible that maybe I could manage it.  I mostly drink tea, and not coffee, and I don't really like herbal tea, is one of the main problems with this plan.  I have been known to refer to the taste of many herbal teas as being like "wet dust".  And I stick by that.  I do like some herbal teas, but usually those end up being very expensive ones and even then I rarely think of them when the part of my brain that lights up with 'Make a Cuppa' clicks on.

Some people are emotional eaters, and I am an emotional tea drinker.  My husband said recently "it isn't so much that you like to drink tea as you like to MAKE tea."  And actually that might be more accurate because a good 60% of my tea just gets poured, cold, down the drain.  I was very proud of myself a few years ago when, after trying for quite a long time, I managed to cut sugar out of my tea routine.  Now I just drink it with milk.  And to be fair I drink it with a LOT of milk, but I do still drink it three or four times a day.  It is the thing I do in the morning - put on the kettle for tea.  It is the first thing I think of when stressed.  I should make a cup of tea.  Come over for a cup of tea.  Oh, hello there, do you want to stay for tea?  I'm sorry, you seem really upset, come in and I'll make tea.  I wish we could sit and have some tea together because I miss you.  I'll call you in a second, let me just make a cup of tea.  Would you put the kettle on for me, dear?  

I make the tea, and then there is perhaps a 30% chance I will forget about the steeping tea.  If I do remember, then I will add a lot of milk, and then I will sit somewhere with it and there is again a good 30% chance I will never finish it or will possibly not even start it, depending on how absent-minded I am.

But I make the tea.  I need to make the tea.  You don't understand, doctor, without the tea...what will I DO??  Don't, Do Not, tell me with your mug of something hot that I will bet good money is not, like, boiling water with a virtuous floating lemon slice, that you don't have something you do when you're stressed?  It's not like I spend a lot of money emotionally shopping or something.  I just...make cups of tea.  And leave them around the house, half consumed, because the sound of my beloved sighing is like unto music to my ears.

I thought about this today as I went to the cafe in town.  It's not a big town, but we have recently had a small, trendy, urban little cafe pop up and we're all feeling very ritzy about it.  And usually I order the same thing every time I go, and it is this:  A Twinings Earl Grey Tea In The Big Tiffany Blue Mug.  They know what mug I like.  They leave a lot of room for milk.  Twinings is my favourite Earl Grey.  The little yellow bags just...make me so happy inside.  But of course, who the heck is going to order an herbal tea in The Big Tiffany Blue Mug??  The Big Tiffany Blue Mug, darn it, was made for Twinings Earl Grey Tea.  Full stop.  I will not commit the sacrilege of sullying it with the likes of CHAMOMILE.  Which, seriously, who decided on that flower?  Let's just steep grass clippings and be done with it.

Anyway, I couldn't order it.  So I asked for something cold, and this is how I ended up with a chilled vanilla latte and when she asked if I wanted one or two shots of espresso I said with virtue, but also realizing fully that this WHOLE THING WAS MUCH WORSE THAN TEA, that I would just take the one shot, thanks.  And then I sat outside and drank it all on the patio and twitched.

Self-Care for the Careless

Link

It isn't that I don't WANT to practice self-care, because I DO, but the things that fall into most people's self-care categories are often way out of my reach, to be honest.  Having a long, relaxing bath?  How...would that happen?  By the time everyone is asleep and I can sit in a bath alone it is so late I don't want to do that, I just want to go to bed.  Buying myself a treat?  Does this mean I have to get in a car with the whole family and drive the 45 minutes it takes to get to a store I would want to buy something from?  Sob.  When would I, supposing I wanted to, meditate and practice yoga?  And where?  In the non-existent yoga studio here in town?  With my copious amounts of free time as a mother of three young children?

I imagine other people have similar issues, and so here are some of the things I HAVE found I am able to do, as 'self-care', sort of, that help with mental health.

Go outside.  I mean at all, really.  Just out of the house.  Leaning out of the window counts if it must but ideally we're talking on the porch or balcony, preferably even on the grass, in bare feet.  If you feel courageous you can turn this into a walk but let's not get crazy here.  Just go out of the door at all.

Find a thing to look forward to.  Suggestions from my own experience are things like listening to a podcast, making a smoothie, hiding a chocolate bar in the freezer, taping a show, reading a comic strip, checking a blog, etc.  Something that you can look forward to doing in the future that will help you get through the present.

Reframe a task you enjoy as a hobby.  It's all about the mental gymnastics here.  I have a garden, for example.  I have a lot of work to do in it to keep it looking decent, including mowing the lawns, and these are chores that I don't mind doing, in fact I enjoy them, so I've told myself that gardening is a hobby of mine.  Now when I go outside to weed and water plants I am 'having fun with my hobby'.  It actually has really helped give me some breathing space.

Stay in touch with people you like.  Pretty self-explanatory, this.  However you might go about it, a phone call, a text, facebook, whatever - make an effort over the day to check in and say hello to people who fill you up.

Carry food and water.  If you can do this, it helps a lot.  Eat the food.  Drink the water.  Put more in your purse.  If you buy fun food that is just for you and a beautiful water bottle that makes you feel like an Instagram pilates instructor, then you won't forget to bring either.  Just a hint.

Reward yourself constantly.  I have mentioned before that I am a big fan of Gretchin Rubin's theory of 'little treats' - of constantly treating yourself with little pick me ups throughout your day.  Not TREAT treats - but little treats.  Reframing, again, so that little things are treats and you are always being encouraged.  A treat can be anything - standing in front of the open freezer with your eyes closed on a hot day, washing your face with the nice face wash slowly and carefully, eating a peach, using a fancy glass, that sort of thing.

Use your senses.  Nothing gets me more agitated than my feet being hot, and nothing cools me down faster and calms me down better than sticking my feet in a cool bath/pool/puddle/bowl of water.  For me, that's the sense that relaxes me, but maybe you're a 'smell lavender and I calm down' sort of person, or maybe you prefer a head massage, or one of those cooling eye masks?  Perhaps the best way for you to relax is to look at your favourite art or listen to the perfect song or slowly sip a drink?  Whatever sense works for you, do that.

Have an end-of-day ritual.  I have two little books beside my bed and they comprise my end-of-day ritual.  First is my reading notebook, where I record whatever book I finished reading that day, if I did that.  Second is my one-line journal, where I put down two or three jot notes of the highlights of my day.  I try to keep the journal positive because I like to look back in future years to see the joyful things in each day, not the negative.

Keep devotions short, but keep them.  Does this sound familiar?  You have elaborate, exciting plans for Bible reading, devotions, Lenten studies, etc. etc. and they all fall to the wayside?  And then it is a source of stress and anxiety and disappointment because you had such well-laid plans...  Here's the only thing that has worked for me in this: don't make the plans.  Pick one small thing, so small that you can certainly do it, and just only focus on that.  I use the devotional My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers and each day's reading is one small, pocket sized page.  I know I can read it in a minute, so I do, and it makes everything better.  This is not to say I DO read it every day or anything, but I am MUCH MORE LIKELY to do so than I would be if it was in any way more complicated than 1 paragraph in a small book 1 time a day.  (I have friends who have their phones read an audio version of the Bible out loud to them as they wake up and friends who have timers on their phones to ding when they should pray.  My husband listens to sermons while he works on paperwork and while he walks to the post office.  Whatever sort of thing makes it easier, is what I'm saying.)

What is there left to eat?

Since all I seem to be talking about is food now, here's a more practical post that continues what I said about going back to eating a healthier diet, and why food isn't good or bad.  I guess that leaves the question of what exactly we're eating!  Well, I should preface by saying that I am not dealing with any food allergies or sensitivities, and a very short list of things people absolutely won't eat.  Really, almost nothing is on that list.  I wish I could take credit for that, but I've always been an adventurous eater so maybe it's genetic?  I know lots of parents struggle with picky eaters and I'm fortunate that I don't have to.

Now, I mean, everyone has preferences.  If I served the children a big ole' plate of canned beans they would be less than pleased and it might take a lot of ketchup to get them down.  They also don't love stuff like liver, or raw onions, or anything really spicy.  But to be honest neither do I so it isn't really an issue - I don't make these things because I don't like them!

So here's what we eat!  At breakfast we have eggs, fruit, cereal, sometimes meat, occasionally porridge.  I don't make pancakes and such anymore because I don't have the time or the space.  Every once in a while I'll do a big, fried breakfast with eggs and bacon and sliced tomatoes, or home fries.  Not often these days.

For lunch we almost always have leftovers from the previous night's supper, or else we have a simple soup and bread or salad type meal.  Sometimes I will make a prepared food type meal, like a frozen pizza, or a box of macaroni and cheese, or something like that.

For supper we eat a lot of one-dish meals - either cooked as a casserole type dish or in the slow cooker.  We eat chicken and pork most frequently, sometimes beef if it is ground meat or occasionally beef in another form, like a brisket, and a few times a year I buy a turkey to roast.  I also make an effort to serve fish once a week, although often it is in the form of tuna salad at lunch, or fish sticks for a fast meal before a church event.  We eat pasta and rice very infrequently, usually our starch of choice is potatoes - white and sweet, and sometimes plantains, cornbread, polenta, etc.

The sorts of meals we eat at supper would be things like - chopped root vegetables roasted with chicken pieces, a sausage and potato bake with a fresh salad, something made with spaghetti squash, ground beef, a tomato based sauce (home made or more likely a jarred sauce that has been added to) and cheese, a big salad type meal with lots of vegetables, hard boiled eggs, leftover diced meat, etc., a platter of different meats and cheeses with a loaf of bread and some home made pickled vegetables, a lentil or bean dish with bread, etc.  We don't eat a lot of legumes, but they are there, usually in another dish like chili or cooked slowly with a smoked turkey leg.

It's all pretty simple.

Spring Thoughts, Better Eating

Two weeks ago I wrote that spring was here, and then winter thumbed her bitter nose at me and there were two more weeks of cold, including snow and full on storms and awfulness.  Now, a better and more nervous person than I previously was, I'm going to say it again.  Spring is here.

*ducks*

It's chilly, but sunny, and it warms up enough in the afternoon that I can hang laundry and send the children outside and the snow is leaving us very quickly.  Plus all the other non-weather springish signs are appearing.  The red squirrels are chasing each other around and around the pine trees at the end of the street, the sandhill cranes are making an ungodly racket down by the lake...

Now that it's warmer I feel more inclined to work on being frugal and healthy again.  There's something about winter that just makes you (me) want to curl up in a ball with a warm cat on me and eat all of the food, so the warmth is definitely helping me to get away from that and back into the swing of projects.  I'm reintroducing a lot of the whole foods oriented cooking methods I used to use as a matter of course, before my husband became incredibly focused on school and our lives got a lot busier with the church.  If you have been reading my blog since the beginning you will remember that I used to make everything that could be made.  I would make bone broth weekly and soak grains and make yogurt and bake breads...I did it all.  Somehow a lot of that stopped in the past few years and I don't think there's one specific reason why - lots of things contributed.  Adding a third child to our family, working full time in ministry, all the school, a new town without a lot of connections and without a farmer's market in town, lots of elements changed our eating style.  And I'm a big proponent of Doing What You Gotta Do - no judgement here if you eat frozen lasagna every day and use disposable diapers and take antibiotics monthly.  You do what you gotta do.  And certainly this past few years we have done what we had to do to make it work with three little children and the lifestyle we found ourselves living.

But I'd be foolish not to say I missed it, because I did.  I missed the work sessions in the kitchen, making lots of healthy real food and finding ways to trim the budget and learning new recipes.  I missed the research, with friends and family and books.  I missed talking to like minded people about what we were all doing to improve our health and our knowledge.  I loved that area of life; I've always loved food and keeping house, and I wanted to be GOOD at it and I was good at it.  I was really good for a while, and then I wasn't so much anymore and I'm okay with that - seasons of life and all - but I'm excited to get back into it.

Last night I made apple, pear, cranberry sauce with cinnamon in the slow cooker, set two big jars of sliced beets to lacto-ferment on the counter into pickles, roasted another tray of beets, made a jug of iced pomegranate green tea and started an experimental batch of a lentil and barley meat replacement to extend some ground beef.  It was soothing, puttering around in my kitchen, doing the sorts of daily tasks that used to make up such a large portion of my days - it was like lapsing back into your mother tongue.

I don't want to make elaborate plans on what to do because I don't want to be disappointed if things don't move as smoothly as I'd like them to but I feel optimistic.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make some bread.

Healthy, Happy, Holy

This pretty much encompasses what I want in this life for myself and my family...

To be healthy
          :: to eat well, to limit our exposure to chemicals, to know what 'enough' is, to experiment in our   
             kitchen, to garden, to foster a love of quality food in our children, to encourage understanding
             and compassion in regards to other's choices for their families, to not be afraid of medicine
             and science, to preserve traditional choices, to make our home calm...

To be happy
          ::  to rejoice, to pray, to shout for joy, to rest in comfort, to be at peace, to love and cherish each
              other, to live abundantly, to give willingly, to offer it up, to pour it out, to have fun, to be silly,
              to strive for knowledge, to be merciful, to offer friendship, to support and console, to be saved.

To be holy
          ::  To follow Christ, to be missionaries wherever we are, to listen to the Holy Spirit, to know what
              we believe and why, to be lights, to stand up, to hold on, to believe in love, to say grace, to
              pray first, to go to heaven...

Yes, I think that about covers it.

So in keeping with this...I'm trying to live it out here, in this house, in this family.  I'm working on giving things away right now, if you're curious, and my goal is ONE HUNDRED items!

Today, a friend who is expecting was the first recipient - three changing pads and a nursing cover found their way to her.

Tomorrow, several items of clothing are getting passed along to a little boy I know who will fit them quite well.  I don't need to hold onto these things - let them go.