The Impractical Practical Handicraft and Frankly, Why Bother?

I mentioned in my first Learning Notes post of 2019 that the 7yo was learning to knit with two needles, and the 5yo was knitting on a circular loom.  And while this seemed pretty, I dunno, normal and standard for me, it occurred to me afterwards that this was probably not, in fact, normal and standard.

Here are the sorts of handicrafts I teach my children, as part of our school day but also just as part of life:  sewing by hand and with the machine, finger knitting, spool knitting, and eventually two-needle standard knitting, cross stitch, practical pattern design, wreath making, flower arranging, decoupage, bird house making, and so forth.  Additionally we work with watercolours, pastels, coloured pencils, and other such art mediums, and we work in the kitchen together canning, drying, fermenting, baking and so forth.

In this day and age, all of that sounds like I'm preparing middle class Victorian children for a life of social rounds and playing the pianoforte.

So that's the 'What'.  And this is the 'Why'.

To start with, I teach these skills, to some degree, to my boy and girl children.  This isn't a gender thing.  I don't teach the girls to sew and cook and the boy to fix the lawnmower.  Although if I knew how to fix the blessed lawnmower rest assured I would teach them all that as well.  No, I am an equal-opportunity task master for the most part, although I won't go into detail with a lesson that the child has no interest in.  The 9yo wouldn't enjoy a flower arranging class, for example, but I will still give him a basic lesson so 'clump everything in a fistful into a vase without enough water' isn't the default.  Here's a few tips to make the flowers last longer and look nicer.  Here's why I'm using this vase and not this vase over here.  Additionally, age does play a role to some degree.  The 9yo is strong enough to knead bread, and the 5yo is not, so he would get to knead bread.  The 7yo is focused on artistic, detailed tasks.  The 5yo has the energy and enthusiasm.  The 9yo is more advanced intellectually.  The 7yo can be patient.  And so forth.

These handicrafts are not useless, I think.  I've derived a great deal of enjoyment over practicing them myself, and I think my home looks nicer because of it, but beyond that they've also proven really useful over the years.  I could make a quilted table runner for a bridal shower when I didn't have enough money for a nice gift because I knew how to quilt.  I could take advantage of the bounty of free apples in the neighbourhood because I knew how to can them.  I could save a child's pants for a little longer with a quick patch or button.  I sewed my own wedding dress and then knitted scarves for each of the people who helped with my wedding planning.  These have been useful skills for me, not outdated nonsense.

I also think that above and beyond their usefulness they serve as an excellent teacher of patience to children, of the joy that comes from working at something and getting better at it, in a much faster and more tangible way than you get with more academic subjects.  You don't really get better in the same way with math, say, or grammar.  You learn more, and that's nice, but if you can knit, then in a relatively short amount of time you can make something impressive that will leave people saying "really?  You MADE that!?"  And that's a good kind of positive reinforcement for a child.

It's also strengthing fine motor skills at an age when handwriting is forming.  All of those little hand and arm muscles, getting stronger and more flexible right when they need to be.  And it develops hand eye co-ordination.  And spacial reasoning.  And problem-solving skills in general, really.  Handicrafts develop a child's sense of proportion and beauty and art.  They help tie in history lessons in a real and useful way and make the lesson 'alive'.  They capture the imagination and at the same time they reign it in a bit.  You want to make a hat?  This is the real world.  In the real world this is how you make a hat.  This is how long it takes.  This is how much it costs.  You can daydream about making a hat all you like, but if you really, truly want to make it, you have to learn how it's made and what that takes.  I tell you, reality is not a subject taught nearly enough in this day and age.

For us, then, I suppose it is both a practical and a creative outlet.  These things they are learning to do are fun for them, for the most part.  Sometimes, as in lessons on how to clean, they are less than enthusiastic.  But even then - learning how to do something that has to be done that you don't want to do is a very good skill to learn.

Finally, I love to teach the children and it's my joy to be able to do what I love.  But I don't fold up into a neat square and get stored away when I don't have my 'teacher' hat on.  I have a life of my own, and interests, and skills, and I want to share those things with my kids.  I enjoy these things, and when you really love something, it makes you the best teacher of it.

Invitational Presence and The Reluctant Scholar

The Graphics Fairy

I really wanted to talk about one of the techniques I use when homeschooling, one of the most valuable tools in my toolbox, actually.

So, I've noticed that there are some common issues with educating children regardless of how you choose to do so, and one of the main ones is probably how to convince a reluctant child to do the thing you wish them to do.

Now, it's not particularly surprising to anyone who knows me that I am stubborn and recalcitrant at the best of times myself, but also that I am very much a 'path of least resistance' sort of gal.  Frankly, if there is going to be a fight involved, I'm not likely to travel far down that path unless I feel very, very strongly about the issue.  My husband and I joke that our parenting philosophy can be summed up as 'is this the hill you want to die on?'  And sometimes, friends, Romans, countrymen...it is indeed.  But far more frequently the answer is a resounding 'no'.

All that being said, if one of my children is reluctant to do some sort of schooling I am pretty likely to say 'meh', and let it go.  And frankly, 'meh' is its own successful schooling strategy in a lot of cases!  But there are some times when the hill really must be taken, and into the breach we must go.  I struggled to think of a good example of this sort of situation in order to illustrate my technique, but here's what I've come up with.

Suppose you have a child who is a reluctant reader.  Now, I mean exactly what I say here, not a delayed reader with an educational difficulty or a reader who is below 'grade-level' but is enthusiastically reading all sorts of things, or even a reader who is slow and plodding but consistent.  I mean a child who can read well, and does not wish to do so.  This might take the form of a child who chooses books that offer no challenge at all simply to 'get through' the work, or a child who opts to do almost any activity besides reading, or a child who shrugs and looks bored at any request for them to choose a book to read, even when presented with many interesting materials on topics they are currently very enthusiastic about.  

The methods I've seen in regards to handling reluctant readers fall into two categories - convincing and force.  Under convincing you have such options as 'Come on, just one page and you can go play', 'If you don't get this done you'll fall behind', 'just pick a book please, so we can get on with our day', etc.  Under force you have 'Well, you have to read for 30 minutes, so pick something or I will pick it for you', 'no tv until you're done your reading' and 'You have to, so no arguing!'.

Now, there may very well be success to be had with any or all of these options, or many more beside, but as I said, I don't want to argue.  I'm not a fan of having to wheedle my children, frankly.  Maybe I'm just lazy.  And yet - my children should read.  They should pick up books and read them for knowledge and enjoyment and of their own free will.  They should, at their own pace, progress in reading levels and in skill until they grasp adult language and are able to converse in society at a good level.  I wish these things for and of each of them, and I am not alone in this.

So what to do?  Well I came up with an idea recently about this, and I suppose it is based somewhat on the idea of 'being a good example'.  We all tell each other these sorts of things all the time, frankly, to 'be a good example', or praise someone for 'being a good example' and so forth.  When you're homeschooling your children (or even if you're not) you are one of those 'good' (one hopes) examples.  What do your children see YOU doing?

The more I thought about this good example philosphy though, the more I realized it didn't fully encompass what I was trying to explain, so I've come up with the term 'invitational presence'.  To teach a child something you wish them to know is a process that has many paths, but to illustrate a life has just two - you can live in the world and hope your simply existing sheds some light on the truth, or you can invite others into life with you.

Here's how this technique might work in our example of the reluctant reader.  You can read in front of your child, visibly preferring your book over other options for entertainment, perhaps even carrying a book with you, and you can ensure that book is one that is eminently shareable.  Maybe funny stories you could chortle at and then say 'oh, listen to this!' and read briefly aloud from.  Or facts that might be compelling.  Or even (shock!  horror!) a children's book!  You can invite your child, with excitement, to help you choose YOUR next book. You can make the trip to the library or evening reading together a treat, however that might look for you (I'm a fan of silence and gummi worms myself but to each their own).  When you read in front of your reluctant child, they see you, doing that thing they do not want to do, albeit a good thing and one they are at least exposed to.  When you invite them in, ask them (in actions, mostly) to join you in this excitement, to help you, to journey with you instead of on a parallel track on their own, you encourage relationship.  

So now what you have is not just a personal habit of reading, but a family culture of reading.  You are the Smith family, and you read. You read together.  You help each other choose books and you share snippets that other might enjoy and you have infectious happiness at the thought of making each other laugh or think big thoughts.  You encourage the finding of interesting things in print, and you comment, aloud, at the smells in bookstores and how great the endpapers look, because you are the Smiths.  And the Smiths are readers.

This technique, like all proper education, takes time, and it takes patience.  And what if you are not a reader yourself, you might ask?  What if reading isn't YOUR thing?  Ah, but homeschooling is at its core, an acknowledgement that learning happens everywhere and is not confined to a place called school.  It happens throughout our days and throughout all of our days, until the end.  A teacher who is done learning, is dead.  Consider your child's reluctance to read an invitation to you, and your response to that reluctance an invitation in return.  This is not a negative!  This is good! So many times we cannot see the problematic educational trees for the forest, and yet here you have recognized one of those trees, and you have a game plan to focus on.  This is not failure, my friend, but the very definition of success.

Absolutely Hilarious Things from Amazon To (Please Not) Buy Your Children For Christmas

I am currently spending all my free time trying to buy some blasted Christmas presents on the interweb.  So I have seen a L.O.T. of stupid kids' toys.  And if I have to suffer through the intellectual downfall of humanity, I'm taking you with me.

Caveats!  You know the drill.

1)  It's all from Amazon and I don't want to continue to write the word 'Amazon' so I'm telling you now.

2) These are funny because...well, you either get it or you don't.  Don't tell me how you bought this thing and actually it is a wonderful gift.  Please.

It's always nice to start out the list with a little mild autopsy.  I like how there's no attempt to make any of this look even sort of accurate, too.  "Just dangle those kidneys there, Barney.  Who cares!"

Ah yes, the undead.  Classic gift.  With a parasol and a fishtail ballgown at that.  Wait, and top hat!

I actually have no idea what the heck this is.  Sort of Jem and the Holograms meets a unicorn?

I just really liked how someone painted happy little faces on this toy.  Can you imagine the mental state of the person whose job this is?

It's....EVIL ELSA.

From the description: 

"Become the owner of your very own screaming goat with this desktop companion. Press the tree stump button to hear the high-pitched bleats that caused the screaming goat sensation to go viral. Kit also includes a 32-page illustrated book of fun facts and trivia about these famed farm animals."

I swear.  I just.  I mean.

Although surely it's a one time gross game right OH MY GAHHHHHHHH

DOES a unicorn poop out genies and squirrels?  This is what you end up asking yourself at 2am.

That teapot be like "Just put me out of my misery"

Not terrifying at all!  Perfect for all ages!

What...HAHAHAHA...What is happening with this TOWEL?

Learning Notes (Nov. 18-24)

School!

My husband was on vacation this week, so let's see how school went.

To start with, let's look at what we watched, listened to, and read.

Can you swim in a pool of jello?  We followed this up, of course, with making four kinds of jello to do a taste test.  And we read this definition:

"To make Jell-O, you need to heat the gelatin in water. Heating breaks the bonds holding the collagen together. Next, the heated water-gelatin solution must be cooled, allowing the collagen strands to rebond in a network, but now with water trapped inside. The collagen network gives Jell-O its semisolid properties, while the trapped water keeps it jiggly." - From LiveScience

We had a blind taste test after supper and it was hilarious.

Making a (mostly) accurate reproduction 15th century princess dress Part 1 and Part 2.

Tetraflexagons!   Weird shapes that are not spheres but still roll!  Restoring a rusty axe!

Mudlarking!

Terry Jones' Medieval Lives - Peasants.

We made God's Eyes!  And looked up the definition of 'tension' in the dictionary.  I had the children make their God's eyes in blue/white/grey sort of colours so that we could use them as window snowflakes for winter decoration, which hasn't happened yet because I haven't done any indoor decorating.

Conversations... on what courts have looked like over the years, deciduous and coniferous trees (and the inevitable discussion on the difference between coniferous/carnivorous), what is a skeleton key, is the cat as old as Grandma in human/cat years?

Reading lots of books...

We read about the rise of Islam, Sindbad, and Chinese Middle-Ages.

Games on our walks (primarily with the 7yo and 5yo as the 9yo is a bit past most of these)

Playing the alphabet circle game (each person says a letter of the alphabet, in a circle, and if you trip up or make a mistake you're 'out')

Playing the rhyming word game (each person gets a turn to say a word and the others have to come up with a rhyme)

Playing 'Would You Rather?' - "Would you rather be see-through or have apple seeds fall out of your mouth every time you talk?"  "Would you rather turn into a cow for 5 minutes at six p.m. every day, or have to do a math problem every morning first thing when you woke up?"

The 9yo and I pacticed adding and multiplying fractions by quadrupling a waffle recipe - made even more exciting by the fact that I couldn't find the 1/3 cup measure so we needed to make an equivalent with the 1/4 measure.

Tangrams, Legos, clay...

We went places, too!  Swimming lessons, piano lessons, doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, and the usual things we do every week.  We visited the library in the next town over and also the one where we live and took out a stack of books.  We went out at night to an annual Holy Walk where the Christmas Story is acted out in living tableaux while you are guided through a park by lantern light.

Learning Notes (Nov. 11-17)

Things we did this week!

We watched lots of videos - here ya go:

Strandbeests!  And even more Strandbeests!

La Machine!  Vi Hart's Anti-Pi Rant!  And her proof that some infinities are bigger than other infinities. - (We argued a bit about this afterwards.  I stand firm!  The philosophical must prevail!)

Making puzzle boxes from paint sticks!  Felix Baumgartner's insane skydive!  (Mom!  He's, like, In. Space.)  

Rain fire!  Other fire!

More puzzlers - the Radbox!  How to make a puzzle box!  (The 9yo is on a kick, if you can't tell)

Episode 1 of the BBC documentary Colour: The Spectrum of Science!

We listened to two Odyssey audio stories in the car to and from our way to swimming lessons and piano lessons.  We played Prodigy math games online!

Lots of discussions - on how dogs do not have retractable claws like cats, on how vaccines are necessary, whether coniferous needles count as leaves, why the spouse of a monarch is not always referred to by a reigning title and what the order of succession is for the British crown, and how the Southern hemisphere and Northern hemisphere of the Earth do not see the same constellations.

There was a lot of reading aloud - 

We packed boxes for Operation Christmas Child, did outdoor Christmas decorating, attended 3 Remembrance Day services on the 11th, went to the church and decorated the sanctuary and fellowship hall for Christmas, shovelled snow for a neighbour and ourselves, got our flu shots, grocery shopped, and bought some Christmas gifts.  We went to swimming lessons and piano lessons and started practicing new Christmas songs!

The 9yo read a lot of this: 

He also learned how to bake bread this week!

The 7yo spent her week practicing her sewing and acquired her own sewing kit by the end.  She made dresses for her sister's toy elephant.  She set up a secret club and wrote invitations to us to join.  She and her sister played board games all week interspersed with elaborate games of store and mailman.

The 5yo spent her week cutting up magazines for their pictures, playing with her sister, and learning the ins and outs of scrabble junior:

We did do some nature walking this week but not really enough.  The 9yo and 7yo and I went on a night walk and did some star-gazing and found the big dipper and casseopeia again.

I continued with our bedtime read aloud:

And there you have it!  Another week past in our busiest season of the year!  Are you enjoying our very unscheduled, unplanned time?

The Half-Way Call, Or Why I'm Having An Issue With Francis Chan.

I'm going to complain about Francis Chan for a minute.  Or, rather, I don't know enough about the man to complain about HIM, personally, but I want to complain about his recent choice re: becoming a missionary.

If you haven't heard this news from the evangelical world, here it is in a nutshell.  Francis Chan is a well-known pastor and author in the United States.  He has a very large online presence and streams his sermons, which you can listen to, if that's your jam.  I haven't read his books (I think I may have started CrazyLove at one point, possibly) and I have only listened to portions of his sermons, so I can't speak to his ministry with any authority.  Several of my friends and colleagues whose opinions I trust on these matters seem to be responding to him in a positive way, which I find encouraging.  Several others have been conspicuously silent, which I find telling.

Recently Chan announced that he was going to leave his mega-church lifestyle and become...a missionary in Asia.  He cited a recent trip to Myanmar as a catalyst for this change, which is not surprising to me since if we had to actually SEE and EXPERIENCE what our less fortunate brethren go through daily I imagine many more of us would be moved to help in tangible ways.

Now there is always backlash with these announcements, about why the person doesn't minister to the poor or unfortunate right where they are.  I think this shows a distinct lack of understanding about the nature of God's call on our hearts, but that's another post, and I won't be delving into it here.  Whether he does or doesn't leave his status position and go to to needy here, or abroad, is mostly irrelevant to me.

It's also easy to feel a bit bitter and jaded about the publicity surrounding this decision - the sheer number of interviews and articles and sermons ABOUT his decision (which, sigh.  Have we run out of things to talk about in the Bible and are moving on now?) not to mention his 'I'm leaving' sermon, which I think I would have taken much more seriously if he had made about...God.  But he didn't, and that's his choice.  That's also not my main concern with this whole shenanigan.

I think my first feelings of unease were when I couldn't find out, in my searching, where he was going.  'Asia' is a little vague, and also very colonialist, like all Asian countries are pretty much the same.  It read like a teenager saying they were going to 'visit an orphanage in Africa'.  Africa isn't a country, dear.

But surely, I thought, if he's mentioning Myanmar, he's maybe going to Myanmar?  Or possibly Burma or even Thailand or Vietnam?  Somewhere decidedly under-serviced in multiple ways, where there is a large percentage of the population living on very little.  Not that missionaries are not needed across the globe, of course, but the article read like 'I saw poverty and need and I wanted to address it'.  Hardly seems likely to me that you need to start a ministry to Japanese businessmen or Beijing nouveau riche with that call, ya know?

But no, it turns out that Chan is going to Hong Kong, which is known for many problems (ever see those cage apartments?  Man.) and certainly needs help, although it isn't Myanmar.  In fact, Chan has lived in Hong Kong before, and he's visited it, with his family, as an adult.  This is not, really, a stepping out into the unknown, is it?  It bothers me on some level that someone could go to Myanmar and then say 'God is calling me to ministry in Hong Kong'.  I can't explain why.  I think it makes me think of equivalencies - 'I have spent a week feeding prostitutes in Indianapolis, and now I really feel like God is asking me to go to the Bahamas'.  'I have served in an orphanage in the Ukraine, and the Lord has laid the city of London on my heart.'  I can't quite put my finger on this.

But, you know, here:

"Two months ago, Chan was in Myanmar traveling "from hut to hut with a translator, sharing the Gospel with people who had never heard about Jesus.” The more he did it, the more he realized he wanted to do this for "the remainder of my life."

“When I considered the need and opportunity, I knew I wanted to be based in Asia,” he said. “I also have an opportunity there to work with the ultra poor (living off less than 50 cents a day)—to bring relief, share the gospel, and plant churches among them. When I compare that opportunity to things I currently do in the States, the Kingdom profit seems much greater overseas at this point of my life.”

Chan said he plans to still minister in the United States but will be "based in Asia for this next season of life."

“Our current plan is to move to Hong Kong in February,” he revealed. “A lot can change between now and then, but we are heading this direction unless the Lord redirects us. I have no idea how long I will stay in Hong Kong. I had no idea I was going to live in San Francisco for nine years. We will just try to discern the Spirit’s leading daily.”"

I have just so, so many issues with this.  I don't know if I can articulate this properly.  To start with, I think we need to address the sentence "Chan said he plans to still minister in the United States but will be "based in Asia..."  So, if you are living in Hong Kong, with lots of money to fly back and forth to the States when the need/desire strikes, this isn't really 'leaving to be a missionary'.  "Our current plan is to move to Hong Kong in February" - ah!  Well, seeing as it is November I'm assuming you aren't going with any kind of sending organization that needs to fulfill standards.  I think it's likely he's just funding this whole thing out of his own substantial funds.  It's an issue with finances because franky, if you have the money to do what you please without anyone having the ability to check you, pride, selfishness, even heresy, can happen oh so quickly.  Which is not to say that this will happen with Chan, but just that there is a reason why we submit to authorities and regulations and remember our 'dusty' selves.  There's a reason for this.  Cut out the leanings towards pride.

His daughters and their families are moving with him - and both of his sons in law have worked with him as pastors in the same church movement, so he has a ready made (and, I assume here, free) workers for this new ministry endeavour.

But ultimately, what is the biggest sticking point for me is that Francis Chan has not shown, in his actions, that he 'has a heart' for the poor of Hong Kong.  He has not said "I am leaving everything.  I am removing myself from this place because God told me to go."  God has certainly not said 'keep a vacation home in Miami' or 'just go in February and I might move you again in March'.  A call that involves "We will just try to discern the Spirit's leading daily" is worrying.  God doesn't call like that, he is not a God of chaos and confusion.

Here is his announcement, if you'd like to watch it.  Tell me what you think.

Learning Notes for the Week of Nov. 3-11

In case you haven't noticed, the weekly detailed school notes are taking a break because, as a ministry family, this is one of our busiest times of year and I don't need another thing on my to do list.

However, let's talk about stuff we're doing right now!

The 9yo is reading all the books, but right now is working through this one, with lots of commentary.

He really loves the Horrible Histories books these days.  He's also playing Prodigy Math and watching a lot of Youtube videos about puzzle boxes.  Have you seen these?  Here's a link to one.  The 9yo is really on a puzzle box kick, which is good because his last obsession was origami and I could not stealth throw away much more of that without a break.  He and I have been talking a lot about the planets and even stayed up late to take out the telescope on the porch and look at the moon and stars, then we pulled out a book on the constellations and realized the 'W' shape, which we knew had to be something, was Cassiopeia!  Yay!

The 7yo has been sewing and crafting up a storm, as usual, and also reading lots of comic books, playing chess with her brother and snakes and ladders with her sister, and Prodigy Math online.  She's been helping with our dog-sitting guest and has gotten a lot more comfortable with dogs as a result of this.  She's got a notebook and has been writing stories in it and asking me constantly how to spell new words.

The 5yo has also gotten very interested in the dog and how the dog behaves and how to care for it and so forth.  She's learning a lot about animal care.  Her other big interest these days is helping to cook in the kitchen, which, if you've been around here much you will know is not MY favourite stage, but we're managing.  She is constantly looking through books on her own, and retelling herself stories she knows or 'reading' to me.  She can't actually read, but she enjoys the pretending.  She likes to count things for me, and we've been pulling out the button jar to play with a lot.

Both of the older children are still taking piano lessons, and all three are still in swimming, with the 9yo starting to spend more and more time in the big pool doing laps.  I think the two oldest, at least, will be graduating to the next class in three weeks time when our lessons end for the winter break.  All three of the children have been using these 'paint by sticker' activity books, building early winter snowmen and snow forts outside, and the two oldest participated in laying wreaths for Remembrance Day at three cenotaph services.

We've been working through morning time with some success, adding more books to our Old Testament list, continuing to read through Matthew together and talk about what we read, continuing to read Story of the World Vol. 2, and our Christian biographies, and to work on memorizing various things like Psalm 23, The national anthem, and so forth.

We've done a science lesson, on the root systems of plants, and have read several books aloud.  The 9yo and I have started a new chapter book for bedtime reading.

Amazon

So far we've loved the books in this series, so this prequel is bound to be a success.

When I actually type it all out I can see they are doing quite a bit!