Book Review - The Mysterious Benedict Society (spoilers included)

The Mysterious Benedict Society - by Trenton Lee Stewart

Published in 2008

Read aloud to the 9yo

The Good

None of the children are necessarily geniuses in the standard understanding of the word; they all feel left out of society and misunderstood because they simply have strengths and weaknesses that are unappreciated.  I think that in our society where children are so heavily encouraged to conform with certain agreed upon standards of interests, behavior, etc., that this would appeal to those who fall outside the range of 'acceptable'.  Kate, for instance, is a girl who is very skilled in using tools and in physical feats of speed and agility.  That's not the sort of intelligence encouraged and applauded in girls as a general rule and Kate finds a home with the Society.  Parents are conspicuously absent but the novel focuses a lot on 'building your own family', which is a very positive message.  All of the children do end up with a parental type figure by the end of the first book - Kate's long lost father returns and they are reunited, Reynie and Constance are adopted and Sticky (who ran away) and his parents find each other and become a family again.  Of the four families, three are single parents, two of those single parent families are fathers instead of mothers, and two are adoptive.  One of the adoptive families is interracial.  It's a nice eclectic mix that isn't a part of the storyline to a great degree but is mentioned and I like the diversity.

The Bad

Sticky runs away from his parents because he thinks they are trying to use his photographic memory to make money.  Constance is very crabby.  I actually found parts of the story quite tense and nerve-wracking so a sensitive child might feel the same way.

My Thoughts

I really loved this story, and so did my 9yo son, who often begged for another chapter.  The characters were compelling and very realistic, which was excellent, but also tense at times.  The villains were especially villainous, although they didn't actually DO as many awful things as your imagination told you they would.  The build up of suspense was always very well done, and there was a lot of 'the good guy almost gets caught but doesn't' moments that helped rile you up.  Good succeeds in the end, and some mysteries are solved that you didn't even realize were mysteries.  (Why WAS Constance so tired all the time?)  The good guys win in the end, but...not entirely, because the head of the evil organization escapes with some of his lackeys, which adds to the realism.  That being said, this is all happening in a very different world - not one we would be entirely familiar with, although it contains elements of our own existence.  It is both strangely old-fashioned and at the same time, oddly modern.  Much like a steampunk esthetic can be, is the best way I could explain it.  Very...odd.  And delightful.  Utterly delightful.

Honest to Goodness Real Gifts My Kids Have Loved

After having written that silly Amazon post all about stuff that looks stupid and you should not buy, I felt bad.  So here's a post about gifts my kids have actually recieved, and which they have loved and used!  All different price points.  All pictures from Amazon unless otherwise mentioned.

Calico Critters.  So adorable.  This tuxedo cat family lives in our dollhouse now.  The clothes come off as well, which is nice for redressing and making little outfits.

I was surprised by how many charms you could make from this kit.  The instructions were easy to follow and the clay never really dried out as long as you kept it in a Ziploc between uses.

Nice, sturdy magnet.  Picks things up.  What would one write about a magnet?

A graphic novel in the vein of Guardians of Ga'Hoole, or Warriors, or maybe Redwall.  Animal warriors.  There is a whole series.

Magical, wonderful amazing mats.  The pictures are drawn only in water and the pen only works on the mat.  You draw it, it dries and disappears, you draw again.  They fold up, too, so you can take it wherever.

Nice sparkly sequined pillows.  Draw things on it and annoy your siblings.

I'm sad that we are past this age now.  The age of playing with water pads.  These were great in the car, though.  Come in all different themes for the picky people in your house.  Melissa and Doug is always a good bet, I find.

Fun to make, if a little frustrating.  Well, it was frustrating for me, at least.  The 8 year old had no problems.

Bright, cheerful mug.  I don't own a dishwasher so I can't speak to its longevity, but with handwashing it has held up pretty well.  The girls like having 'their own' mugs for hot chocolate.  Or just to argue about, really.  It's nice to have a hobby.

Djeco really makes the nicest art kits.  The markers lasted very well and the pictures were cute.  I think there might have been only one we didn't like.

Good, basic first telescope.  Comes with two different lenses.  Let's you see craters on the moon and also into birds' nests.

Big Mouth brand inflatable tubes come in all different styles.  We have the doughnut.  It is awesome.  Slide the hill in breakneck speed and make everyone gasp...but do it in style.

Sparkly, glittery wand filled with water and...stuff.  I don't know.  Very glittery.

Very big hit.  What can I say?  We're comic fans.

These Dover paper dolls come in all different styles.  We have these knights, but there are historical costumes from across cultures and ages.  They come pre-coloured, which I like.

Jellycat stuffed animals are super soft.  And they come in nice, traditional animal shapes, like the rabbit above, and also in crazy stuffies - like a bowl of sushi.  A bit pricey (I think this rabbit was $30?) but hold up super well.  And can be washed.

Hape tea set.  All wood, even has a tea bag.  The tray is a bit too small to carry everything at once, but it has withstood heavy use so I'm recommending it.

Sushi Go!  Fun new family card game to add to the roster.  The idea is to play in three quick rounds, and it is a very 'fair' game - no one is going to feel like their hand is 'better' than anyone's else.  Not a lot of crying in the playing of this game, which I love.

We like this puzzle company because the pictures are bright and colourful, the puzzles are not ridiculously hard, and the pieces are very well constructed.

Mechanimals.  Weird little vehicles which, when they drive over a special Mech Card, turn into little warrior action figure things.  Actually, it looks pretty cool when they do it.  The 9yo spent a lot of time playing with these.

Has some creepy bits, so probably for 8yo and up.  Creepy like 'monster in the basement and monster kidnaps mom and kids have to withstand peril to save her in a fantasy world' kind of creepy.  Great series, though.  We waited breathlessly for #8 to come out.  Well, some of us waited breathlessly at least.

There you go!  A list!

Learning Notes (Nov. 24-30)

Another week of school.  Here's a great playlist to work to...

First off, it's now the lead up to Advent in our house.  Although the first Sunday of Advent is Dec. 1st, I brought in the totes of Christmas decor from the garage anyway because we have a very busy first week of December and I thought it would be prudent to get the tree up now, instead of on St. Nicholas' Day (Dec. 6th).  So we put up the tree and spent some time decorating it.

Videos and such we watched -

Veritasium and Three Perplexing Physics Problems.
Will Newton's Cradle go forever in a vacuum?

We made play dough - pink, orange, blue and green, and we scented it with almond, lemon, vanilla and coconut extracts.  Here's a recipe we like.  The children used it to sculpt and also to play elaborate games of The Great British Baking Challenge.  The play dough was on heavy rotation many times over the week.

Conversations about...how the cat's footprints go in almost a straight line, how the dog walks with a left/right stride, instead of opposing front/back paws, why people smoke cigarettes (asked after we saw a smoker as we left the store),  can you make an even number by cutting an odd number in half...

We made thaumatropes!  There are lots and lots of videos of these on Youtube if you want some ideas of what to draw on your own thaumatropes.  Here's one that also talks about phenakistoscopes, zoetropes and praxinoscopes as well, and here's one that adds flipbooks and a few other things to the list.  And while we crafted we started listening to this:

Of course, we read aloud...

We did a lot of stuff with snowflakes this week!

This entire website is a great snowflake resource - run by a professor from CalTech.
Symmetry in snowflakes - and some fancy designs for cutting them.
More templates!
Vihart's videos on Khan Academy on snowflakes, starflakes, sphereflakes and swirlflakes!
The Anatomy of a snowflake.
Capturing snowflakes in photography.

This book

Link

Making 3D snowflakes out of the pages of an old book.  We used regular paper but you know, the book pages would also have been cute.

We also made these adorable little yarn birds for no reason at all except that we wanted to.

Activities of different sorts...

Places we went...

We visited a different church we had never attended a service at before.
The 7yo had a piano lesson.
The 7yo and I went to a ladies' stitching group for a few hours and she got to sit and sew with the 'big ladies'.  One of the women, a very talented seamstress, had the 7yo use our sewing machine and run up fabric bags to sell at a craft fair.
We all trekked around town with our shovels in a blizzard to clear steps and driveways, and we stopped for 1/2 price hot chocolates on the way home.
We went out as a family for breakfast.


We had some significant car trouble this week, and with the rush of the season the mechanic couldn't see us for over a week.  Unfortunately, this meant the 9yo's piano lesson had to be cancelled, and all three children missed their swimming lesson.

The Impractical Practical Handicraft and Frankly, Why Bother?

I mentioned in my first Learning Notes post of 2019 that the 7yo was learning to knit with two needles, and the 5yo was knitting on a circular loom.  And while this seemed pretty, I dunno, normal and standard for me, it occurred to me afterwards that this was probably not, in fact, normal and standard.

Here are the sorts of handicrafts I teach my children, as part of our school day but also just as part of life:  sewing by hand and with the machine, finger knitting, spool knitting, and eventually two-needle standard knitting, cross stitch, practical pattern design, wreath making, flower arranging, decoupage, bird house making, and so forth.  Additionally we work with watercolours, pastels, coloured pencils, and other such art mediums, and we work in the kitchen together canning, drying, fermenting, baking and so forth.

In this day and age, all of that sounds like I'm preparing middle class Victorian children for a life of social rounds and playing the pianoforte.

So that's the 'What'.  And this is the 'Why'.

To start with, I teach these skills, to some degree, to my boy and girl children.  This isn't a gender thing.  I don't teach the girls to sew and cook and the boy to fix the lawnmower.  Although if I knew how to fix the blessed lawnmower rest assured I would teach them all that as well.  No, I am an equal-opportunity task master for the most part, although I won't go into detail with a lesson that the child has no interest in.  The 9yo wouldn't enjoy a flower arranging class, for example, but I will still give him a basic lesson so 'clump everything in a fistful into a vase without enough water' isn't the default.  Here's a few tips to make the flowers last longer and look nicer.  Here's why I'm using this vase and not this vase over here.  Additionally, age does play a role to some degree.  The 9yo is strong enough to knead bread, and the 5yo is not, so he would get to knead bread.  The 7yo is focused on artistic, detailed tasks.  The 5yo has the energy and enthusiasm.  The 9yo is more advanced intellectually.  The 7yo can be patient.  And so forth.

These handicrafts are not useless, I think.  I've derived a great deal of enjoyment over practicing them myself, and I think my home looks nicer because of it, but beyond that they've also proven really useful over the years.  I could make a quilted table runner for a bridal shower when I didn't have enough money for a nice gift because I knew how to quilt.  I could take advantage of the bounty of free apples in the neighbourhood because I knew how to can them.  I could save a child's pants for a little longer with a quick patch or button.  I sewed my own wedding dress and then knitted scarves for each of the people who helped with my wedding planning.  These have been useful skills for me, not outdated nonsense.

I also think that above and beyond their usefulness they serve as an excellent teacher of patience to children, of the joy that comes from working at something and getting better at it, in a much faster and more tangible way than you get with more academic subjects.  You don't really get better in the same way with math, say, or grammar.  You learn more, and that's nice, but if you can knit, then in a relatively short amount of time you can make something impressive that will leave people saying "really?  You MADE that!?"  And that's a good kind of positive reinforcement for a child.

It's also strengthing fine motor skills at an age when handwriting is forming.  All of those little hand and arm muscles, getting stronger and more flexible right when they need to be.  And it develops hand eye co-ordination.  And spacial reasoning.  And problem-solving skills in general, really.  Handicrafts develop a child's sense of proportion and beauty and art.  They help tie in history lessons in a real and useful way and make the lesson 'alive'.  They capture the imagination and at the same time they reign it in a bit.  You want to make a hat?  This is the real world.  In the real world this is how you make a hat.  This is how long it takes.  This is how much it costs.  You can daydream about making a hat all you like, but if you really, truly want to make it, you have to learn how it's made and what that takes.  I tell you, reality is not a subject taught nearly enough in this day and age.

For us, then, I suppose it is both a practical and a creative outlet.  These things they are learning to do are fun for them, for the most part.  Sometimes, as in lessons on how to clean, they are less than enthusiastic.  But even then - learning how to do something that has to be done that you don't want to do is a very good skill to learn.

Finally, I love to teach the children and it's my joy to be able to do what I love.  But I don't fold up into a neat square and get stored away when I don't have my 'teacher' hat on.  I have a life of my own, and interests, and skills, and I want to share those things with my kids.  I enjoy these things, and when you really love something, it makes you the best teacher of it.

Invitational Presence and The Reluctant Scholar

The Graphics Fairy

I really wanted to talk about one of the techniques I use when homeschooling, one of the most valuable tools in my toolbox, actually.

So, I've noticed that there are some common issues with educating children regardless of how you choose to do so, and one of the main ones is probably how to convince a reluctant child to do the thing you wish them to do.

Now, it's not particularly surprising to anyone who knows me that I am stubborn and recalcitrant at the best of times myself, but also that I am very much a 'path of least resistance' sort of gal.  Frankly, if there is going to be a fight involved, I'm not likely to travel far down that path unless I feel very, very strongly about the issue.  My husband and I joke that our parenting philosophy can be summed up as 'is this the hill you want to die on?'  And sometimes, friends, Romans, countrymen...it is indeed.  But far more frequently the answer is a resounding 'no'.

All that being said, if one of my children is reluctant to do some sort of schooling I am pretty likely to say 'meh', and let it go.  And frankly, 'meh' is its own successful schooling strategy in a lot of cases!  But there are some times when the hill really must be taken, and into the breach we must go.  I struggled to think of a good example of this sort of situation in order to illustrate my technique, but here's what I've come up with.

Suppose you have a child who is a reluctant reader.  Now, I mean exactly what I say here, not a delayed reader with an educational difficulty or a reader who is below 'grade-level' but is enthusiastically reading all sorts of things, or even a reader who is slow and plodding but consistent.  I mean a child who can read well, and does not wish to do so.  This might take the form of a child who chooses books that offer no challenge at all simply to 'get through' the work, or a child who opts to do almost any activity besides reading, or a child who shrugs and looks bored at any request for them to choose a book to read, even when presented with many interesting materials on topics they are currently very enthusiastic about.  

The methods I've seen in regards to handling reluctant readers fall into two categories - convincing and force.  Under convincing you have such options as 'Come on, just one page and you can go play', 'If you don't get this done you'll fall behind', 'just pick a book please, so we can get on with our day', etc.  Under force you have 'Well, you have to read for 30 minutes, so pick something or I will pick it for you', 'no tv until you're done your reading' and 'You have to, so no arguing!'.

Now, there may very well be success to be had with any or all of these options, or many more beside, but as I said, I don't want to argue.  I'm not a fan of having to wheedle my children, frankly.  Maybe I'm just lazy.  And yet - my children should read.  They should pick up books and read them for knowledge and enjoyment and of their own free will.  They should, at their own pace, progress in reading levels and in skill until they grasp adult language and are able to converse in society at a good level.  I wish these things for and of each of them, and I am not alone in this.

So what to do?  Well I came up with an idea recently about this, and I suppose it is based somewhat on the idea of 'being a good example'.  We all tell each other these sorts of things all the time, frankly, to 'be a good example', or praise someone for 'being a good example' and so forth.  When you're homeschooling your children (or even if you're not) you are one of those 'good' (one hopes) examples.  What do your children see YOU doing?

The more I thought about this good example philosphy though, the more I realized it didn't fully encompass what I was trying to explain, so I've come up with the term 'invitational presence'.  To teach a child something you wish them to know is a process that has many paths, but to illustrate a life has just two - you can live in the world and hope your simply existing sheds some light on the truth, or you can invite others into life with you.

Here's how this technique might work in our example of the reluctant reader.  You can read in front of your child, visibly preferring your book over other options for entertainment, perhaps even carrying a book with you, and you can ensure that book is one that is eminently shareable.  Maybe funny stories you could chortle at and then say 'oh, listen to this!' and read briefly aloud from.  Or facts that might be compelling.  Or even (shock!  horror!) a children's book!  You can invite your child, with excitement, to help you choose YOUR next book. You can make the trip to the library or evening reading together a treat, however that might look for you (I'm a fan of silence and gummi worms myself but to each their own).  When you read in front of your reluctant child, they see you, doing that thing they do not want to do, albeit a good thing and one they are at least exposed to.  When you invite them in, ask them (in actions, mostly) to join you in this excitement, to help you, to journey with you instead of on a parallel track on their own, you encourage relationship.  

So now what you have is not just a personal habit of reading, but a family culture of reading.  You are the Smith family, and you read. You read together.  You help each other choose books and you share snippets that other might enjoy and you have infectious happiness at the thought of making each other laugh or think big thoughts.  You encourage the finding of interesting things in print, and you comment, aloud, at the smells in bookstores and how great the endpapers look, because you are the Smiths.  And the Smiths are readers.

This technique, like all proper education, takes time, and it takes patience.  And what if you are not a reader yourself, you might ask?  What if reading isn't YOUR thing?  Ah, but homeschooling is at its core, an acknowledgement that learning happens everywhere and is not confined to a place called school.  It happens throughout our days and throughout all of our days, until the end.  A teacher who is done learning, is dead.  Consider your child's reluctance to read an invitation to you, and your response to that reluctance an invitation in return.  This is not a negative!  This is good! So many times we cannot see the problematic educational trees for the forest, and yet here you have recognized one of those trees, and you have a game plan to focus on.  This is not failure, my friend, but the very definition of success.

Absolutely Hilarious Things from Amazon To (Please Not) Buy Your Children For Christmas

I am currently spending all my free time trying to buy some blasted Christmas presents on the interweb.  So I have seen a L.O.T. of stupid kids' toys.  And if I have to suffer through the intellectual downfall of humanity, I'm taking you with me.

Caveats!  You know the drill.

1)  It's all from Amazon and I don't want to continue to write the word 'Amazon' so I'm telling you now.

2) These are funny because...well, you either get it or you don't.  Don't tell me how you bought this thing and actually it is a wonderful gift.  Please.

It's always nice to start out the list with a little mild autopsy.  I like how there's no attempt to make any of this look even sort of accurate, too.  "Just dangle those kidneys there, Barney.  Who cares!"

Ah yes, the undead.  Classic gift.  With a parasol and a fishtail ballgown at that.  Wait, and top hat!

I actually have no idea what the heck this is.  Sort of Jem and the Holograms meets a unicorn?

I just really liked how someone painted happy little faces on this toy.  Can you imagine the mental state of the person whose job this is?

It's....EVIL ELSA.

From the description: 

"Become the owner of your very own screaming goat with this desktop companion. Press the tree stump button to hear the high-pitched bleats that caused the screaming goat sensation to go viral. Kit also includes a 32-page illustrated book of fun facts and trivia about these famed farm animals."

I swear.  I just.  I mean.

Although surely it's a one time gross game right OH MY GAHHHHHHHH

DOES a unicorn poop out genies and squirrels?  This is what you end up asking yourself at 2am.

That teapot be like "Just put me out of my misery"

Not terrifying at all!  Perfect for all ages!

What...HAHAHAHA...What is happening with this TOWEL?

Learning Notes (Nov. 18-24)

School!

My husband was on vacation this week, so let's see how school went.

To start with, let's look at what we watched, listened to, and read.

Can you swim in a pool of jello?  We followed this up, of course, with making four kinds of jello to do a taste test.  And we read this definition:

"To make Jell-O, you need to heat the gelatin in water. Heating breaks the bonds holding the collagen together. Next, the heated water-gelatin solution must be cooled, allowing the collagen strands to rebond in a network, but now with water trapped inside. The collagen network gives Jell-O its semisolid properties, while the trapped water keeps it jiggly." - From LiveScience

We had a blind taste test after supper and it was hilarious.

Making a (mostly) accurate reproduction 15th century princess dress Part 1 and Part 2.

Tetraflexagons!   Weird shapes that are not spheres but still roll!  Restoring a rusty axe!

Mudlarking!

Terry Jones' Medieval Lives - Peasants.

We made God's Eyes!  And looked up the definition of 'tension' in the dictionary.  I had the children make their God's eyes in blue/white/grey sort of colours so that we could use them as window snowflakes for winter decoration, which hasn't happened yet because I haven't done any indoor decorating.

Conversations... on what courts have looked like over the years, deciduous and coniferous trees (and the inevitable discussion on the difference between coniferous/carnivorous), what is a skeleton key, is the cat as old as Grandma in human/cat years?

Reading lots of books...

We read about the rise of Islam, Sindbad, and Chinese Middle-Ages.

Games on our walks (primarily with the 7yo and 5yo as the 9yo is a bit past most of these)

Playing the alphabet circle game (each person says a letter of the alphabet, in a circle, and if you trip up or make a mistake you're 'out')

Playing the rhyming word game (each person gets a turn to say a word and the others have to come up with a rhyme)

Playing 'Would You Rather?' - "Would you rather be see-through or have apple seeds fall out of your mouth every time you talk?"  "Would you rather turn into a cow for 5 minutes at six p.m. every day, or have to do a math problem every morning first thing when you woke up?"

The 9yo and I pacticed adding and multiplying fractions by quadrupling a waffle recipe - made even more exciting by the fact that I couldn't find the 1/3 cup measure so we needed to make an equivalent with the 1/4 measure.

Tangrams, Legos, clay...

We went places, too!  Swimming lessons, piano lessons, doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, and the usual things we do every week.  We visited the library in the next town over and also the one where we live and took out a stack of books.  We went out at night to an annual Holy Walk where the Christmas Story is acted out in living tableaux while you are guided through a park by lantern light.