I'm typing out part of this article verbatim, because I can't think how to paraphrase it and not utilize just as many words in an effort to accomplish what will no doubt be an inferior product. I'm curious about opinions, though. Please leave them as blog post comments and not on my facebook wall, so that all can see.
"First, let's tackle the allocation of chores on a day-to-day basis...Very simply, each spouse must contribute the same number of hours each day to productive activities that directly contribute to the well-being of the household. How you do this depends on the wage-earner structure of your family.
If your family has two full-time wage earners, and you work the same hours, each spouse must share in the housework during evenings and weekends until it's completed. If one spouse works just part-time, he or she must take on additional housework equal to the hours of extra work put in by the full-time spouse. By working during the same hours, it's easy to see that the share of the work is equal. If a wage earner works a night shift, then instead of working during the same hours each day, the spouses must agree to put in the same number of productive hours every day.
If your family has one wage earner, the stay-at-home spouse should expect to work an equal amount of time at home, from the time the wage-earner leaves until he or she returns. Any remaining work, including giving kids baths and helping with homework, must be shared equally. During these nine or more hours , the stay-at-home spouse should be able to complete the basic housework and meal preparation, even with caring for young children...
If you are a stay-at-home spouse and your daily activities include chatting on the phone, reading romance novels, watching tv (without doing a productive activity simultaneously), etc., you shouldn't expect your spouse to share in the housework when he or she arrives home.
(Taken from The Complete Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn)
Well, what do you think? I was curious about this, I have to admit. It has never occurred to me to 'go to work' when my husband went to work. David worked from 3-11pm tonight, an 8 hour shift with a 1/2 hour unpaid break, and so 7.5 hours of work was what I would have to expect of myself as well.
In the interests of 'science' I gave it a shot this evening. Actually timing myself revealed that I previously had no sweet idea how much time I spent feeding, clothing, changing, cleaning and disciplining my children. In the first two hours or so of 'work time' I spent close to an hour on child-related tasks that couldn't be combined with another chore. Changing a diaper, moving a crawler away from the vacuum cord for the fifth time, looking at the 'Watch this mama! Mama, you watching?" when requested...it takes a lot of my time!
Even so, I assumed that seven and a half hours of work would produce a pretty fantastic result, and I was disappointed. After you factor in all the child related stuff, and the constant interruptions (another dirty diaper? Really? Are you doing this because mama is trying to fold shirts? Tell me the truth now...) I actually didn't accomplish any more than I would have on a normal day at home.
I vacuumed the stairs and hall and two of the three bedrooms.
I made up the guest bed with clean linens from our Christmas guests.
I tidied upstairs, which mostly consisted of removing the plethora of toys from our room.
I swept the floors. Twice.
I washed the dishes.
I 'rebooted' the laundry (take dry clothes off the line and put away, put wet clothes on the line, put another load in the washer).
I did a surface clean of the kitchen and dining room to remove the traces of two excited children playing with green playdough and eating blueberries for supper. Not simultaneously, thank the Lord.
I organized the garbage and recycling.
I corralled the toys in the livingroom.
At 8pm I stopped 'work' around the house because a neighbour had asked me to help her prepare some food for a funeral reception, and I spent an hour doing that. However, the author of the article did say that 'volunteer work' qualified as housework, so I guess this counts.
It was productive, but it wasn't, you know, holy-cow-this-is-an-amazing-day productive or anything. My house does not look like you could do surgery in the bathroom or film a cooking show in the kitchen. I wouldn't be cringing if unexpected company came over, but I wouldn't be inviting anyone, let's put it that way.
So I guess what I'm saying is that yes, you probably do need that much time every day to keep the house running. Anyway, I'd be curious to hear what other people think.
I think it is silly that taking care of kids does not count as work. Clearly it takes a lot of energy and time to keep children alive, so why does that not count??
ReplyDeleteI am a work at home mom and work the same number of hours as my husband plus I keep the kids alive during the day. But my house is a mess and my husband cooks probably 80% of the time for supper. But that is because for me to get 40 hours of work in and keep the kids alive I am pretty much working ALL day.
I don't think you should do nothing, but I also think that taking care of the kids should be a part of the "job hours".
Taking care of small children isn't work? what kind of insane person thinks that? We pay childcare workers to, you know, TAKE CARE of children, and we don't do it because it's not work.
ReplyDeleteI need caffeine.
Having had tea and increased my reading comprehension, i have actually read the quoted piece from the Tightwad Gazette, and thought about it. I think my job is to keep everything running at home while trying to keep my sanity. How many hours a day does this break down to? I'm not sure, but I bet even just the breaking-up-fights-diaper-changing-dressing-disciplining-feeding is more than seven hours a day. It would be interesting to try to clock it, but I am uninterested in a perfectly equal household.
ReplyDeleteHave you read That Hideous Strength, by C. S. Lewis? There's an exchange in it between an unhappily married woman and the central figure where Jane, the woman, says, "I thought equality was the deepest thing", and Ransom, the other character, says something like: Equality is necessary because of the Fall. It is medicine, and not food.
Let me look it up- here it is:
""I thought it was in their souls that people were equal."
"You were mistaken, said he gravely. "That is the last place where people are equal. Equality before law, equality of incomes- that is very well. Equality guards life; it doesn't make it..."
"But surely in marriage?"
"Worse and worse," said the Director. "Courtship knows nothing of it; nor does fruition, What has free companionship to do with it?..."
This is interesting! How I read it was that childcare counted in the "productive activities that directly contribute to the well-being of the household", and therefore if I was changing a diaper or something, I wasn't "off the clock". However, I wasn't permitted to just sit and watch tv with the kids, either. But maybe I should read what else this woman has to say re: the child question.
ReplyDeleteI could pull out my copy of the complete Tightwad Gazette and look it up. Might do it later today. I think it counts- I hope it counts, because it feels like all I ever do.
ReplyDeleteHave you read Calah Alexander's piece today about the Holy Innocents and doing things with your children? It's excellent.