One of the reasons I could never be a radical unschooler (there are plenty, but this is one) is that I don't believe it's a child's responsibility to discover all the things in the world they may be interested in. Consider a day in my life : I shop at the same stores, I visit the same library, I travel in the same car, I have the same family - I am not daily experiencing new locations. I might adore central Peru, but if I didn't know it existed, I wouldn't know to go there, or closer to home - I might love this interesting sauce, but I have the recipes I make and I'm in a rush and I have a budget so...I never eat it. I might like this police drama, but all the other police dramas I've seen I haven't liked, so I won't even consider turning this one on. It takes a trusted friend to say "hey have you tried that new sauce, you'd love it!"
And I'm an adult! By which I mean to imply that I know there are things I don't know, and I recognize that stretching beyond my comfort zone may result in disappointment but that that is fine because 1) disappointment won't kill me and 2) sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised.
A child doesn't have that. Try and get your nugget-loving 3 year old to just try the Japanese place down the street. Try and get your 12 year old Stars Wars fan to watch the BBC documentary. Do it without bribing. How successful are you? Most young children, and hey, even old children and crabby adults like myself, do not want to do the thing they do not want to do, even if there is the possibility they might derive benefits from it, like discovering a new interest, acquiring a useful piece of knowledge, or even just living in a cleaner house.
It's because of this that I would refer to myself as a proponent of child-led learning, and not child-decided learning.
Well, sure, you might think, but how would you get a kid who doesn't have any interest in something to try the new thing? I'm glad you asked! Here are some of the ways I've done it myself and a few I have thought of but can't easily tie in my mind to trying, which means I may not have done so yet.
1) I've started a culture of stewing (an unschool term), which involves putting the things I want to develop interest in all over the place. Let's say no one is interested in, I don't know, plants. The window book display is changed to plants, the TV is set to record shows about plants, youtube has videos cued up on plant life, our weekly craft is a plant craft, the next field trip has to do with plants, you get the drift. Plants everywhere!
2) I start using my strategy of curated conversation (I wrote about that here) to talk about specific aspects of plants. I won't repeat everything I said in the other post, but essentially I expound on a specific topic in an intentional, one-on-one way with my child.
3) I do the thing I want the children to do! Getting involved in whatever is blocking a child's interest is by far the best way to get interest flowing (and I wrote about that, too.) No one likes plants which is a great reason for mom to start a garden! Come join me in the garden!
4) I figure out why the dislike or indifference or hostility exists. I have been surprised to discover why a child has actually been upset when I totally thought I knew and was so, so wrong.
5) No one will be surprised to hear me drag that beloved guru if mine into this conversation...Gretchen Rubin! Even though she is writing about adult habit formation and personality tendencies she has some great take-aways for teachers of recalcitrant students. Like clarifying the problem, making a plan for when things go awry (here's my plan), and tying in plenty of rewards, all of which would work in tandem with introducing new, unloved topics.
6) And another Rubin-esque idea is tying the habit you want to improve to an already existing habit, which I have to say has great carryover to homeschooling! The plants no one is interested in get 'tied' to a high-reward subject. Like...video games! Candy, time with friends, tv, outings somewhere, a new book, whatever has high impact for your student.
7) Encouraging and Enforcing the study which...let's be honest, sounds like a drag but is actually not that bad. Charlotte Mason followers will know how much she endorsed the short lesson, and I am a huge fan as well. Sandwich that 5 minute lesson on plants in between a favorite subject and a break with a snack, add lots of encouragement, and see if the pouting lasts long. It might. But at least it's only 5 minutes, and if you're consistent you may find that your reluctant scholar just doesn't see the point in a fuss for 5 minutes after a few lessons.
The best part of not letting your children rule the nonexistent curriculum, of course, is that you can share what you love. And with that, I'm off to enthusiastically read a favourite childhood book to a son determined not to like it.
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